Anger Management and Counseling in Ramona, CA.

I believe anger is a secondary emotion, covering other feelings such as grief, depression, anxiety, and/or hurt. Often times anger management is a signal for a need for trauma work, which can include explore prior experiences that felt stuck or emotionally taxing. Often times when others are angry, it's the only way they can feel heard-- having anger is not the problem, it's, what we do with the anger is what needs to be explored as appropriate or not.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of anger management in a very humane yet fresh perspective. You see, anger is a normal emotion but it is the valence (intensity) as well as the coupling choice of what one does with this that is the problem. Telling someone to "not" do it or modifying behavior with a trite psychological plan that only breeds a compliant response is not the way to change anger. Brainwave optimization is a new cutting edge technology that allows one to rewire circuitry responsible for reactivity driving the anger. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

Anger can control our lives and destroy relationships. Often anger is an emotional response to unmet needs in our lives, sometimes beginning from when we were children. I work with my clients to help them recognize their unmet needs, the source of their anger, and to identify the different kinds of anger they may be experiencing. At the same time, we work to together in a safe and non-judgmental environment to learn how to manage anger, focusing on one's own responsibility and building a healthy sense of self.

As a culture, we do not do well with healthy expressions of anger. Often we are raised to suppress it and then we have limited practice at dealing with big emotion. There is a spectrum of healthy aggression- to keep us safe and to maintain boundaries- and rage- our body's strategy for safety. Anger management is about applying the right "dosing" to maintain boundaries yet not fracture relationships or suffer other losses. I am able to help you learn to regulate your body to be able to apply the appropriate "dose" to be effective and not destructive.

Anger is a valid feeling, but it's the behavior, what we do with anger, that is problematic. Anger can tell us that something isn't right in the current moment. It may also be the result of valid anger you developed as a child and/or it may just be a result of something you believe. There are many ways that anger can be resolved - by changing thoughts & beliefs, learning to express feelings & needs and learning to calm & soothe ourselves by doing what is called, "regulating the nervous system" in order to stay present, grounded & calm when relating to others.

Often anger is a form of protest of some injustice that has been done. The adaptive action tendency when one is flooded with anger is to help one assert themselves with an advocacy of self in healthy ways. Managing your anger vs. having your anger manage you is a way to be in healthy control of yourself which will benefit your close relationships with others and within yourself.

I provide individual psychotherapy for anger management. Anger is normal emotion that everyone experiences. It becomes a problem when one expresses anger inappropriately or one lacks the proficiency to express any emotions but anger. I use Humanistic and Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) to help my clients understand their anger, improve their emotional experience, and express their emotions in healthy ways. A healthy emotional life is the cornerstone of living a full and successful life.

I help clients learn self-regulation tools to manage their regressions. We explore relational histories that have contributed to steady-state regressions and the challenge of managing secondary emotions. Ultimately, my clients are able to find healing from their previously reactive behaviors and more adaptive ways of handling their emotions. The result is better relationships.

My approach to counseling for anger and anger management is founded on the belief that anger when left unaddressed, can become a destructive force in one's life. Through personalized strategies and a compassionate, non-judgmental environment, she equips clients with the tools to recognize the root causes of their anger, effectively manage their emotional responses, and transform potentially volatile situations into opportunities for growth and understanding. By engaging with Dr. Knox, clients not only learn to control their anger but also rediscover a life of harmony, improved relationships, and emotional well-being.

Where there is smoke there is fire. Likewise, where there is interpersonal conflict, invariably there is frustration and anger. This is no less true between couples and in marriage relationships. And while there may be legitimate reasons to become angry, over time such hostility will become counter-productive, hurting the marriage. I utilize a clinically proven 3-step plan for getting to the source of the anger and resolving it. This approach to anger management fits perfectly within my overall process of resolving conflict between couples and enhancing relationship enjoyment.

Anger is a normal human emotion. The manner in which individuals exhibit their emotions, particularly anger can be constructive or destructive. If individuals are able to constructively channel their anger, the experience and management of anger leads to neutral or positive outcomes. However, if an individual manifests their anger in a unhealthy manner, it can negatively affect any facet of their lives from their personal relationships to their professional lives. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is key to learning to effectively manage anger. With this approach, clients learn to identify and substitute unhealthy trigger thoughts with healthy thoughts and to utilize anger-reducing strategies.

Anger is one of our fundamental emotions, part of the basic machinery of our mind and personality. In some ways it is a useful tool that helps to motivate and energize us in seeking fairness and justice in the world around us. But this powerful hold-over from our primal history can also be enormously destructive if we lose control of it. If your anger is slipping out of your control and you find yourself saying or doing things that damage your reputation or your relationships, hurt those around you, or otherwise consistently put you on the outside of society's expectations for behavior, you need help to find tools or strategies to change this and I would be happy to help.

If you have been confronted by others that you have a "problem with anger", it certainly is worth taking a look. What most people don't know, is that those struggling with anger management are most often merely reacting to stress, anxiety, shame, fear, or depression. In men, depression is often experienced more as irritability than as sadness. While you may not know how to make the change others are asking for, be assured that with the right help, you certainly can make very meaningful change, and enjoy the result. Don't for a moment think that controlling your anger means you don't get to be heard. You will enjoy the experience of really being heard and respected.