Anger Management and Counseling in Oakland, CA.

More than 20 years ago, I had an "Anger Management" problem. I know what it is like to try to keep it under control to only find myself saying cruel things I wish I didn't say. It destroyed a relationship. However, that inspired me to learn how to deal with my anger in a healthy way. I was highly motivated; it took me less than 12 sessions. If you struggle with your anger, we will come up with real strategies that help you pay attention to what is going on in your body so we can prevent the angry outbursts from happening. You may need somebody who can challenge you and keep you in check while at the same time not judging you. Your next step is to call me to make an appointment.

As a culture, we do not do well with healthy expressions of anger. Often we are raised to suppress it and then we have limited practice at dealing with big emotion. There is a spectrum of healthy aggression- to keep us safe and to maintain boundaries- and rage- our body's strategy for safety. Anger management is about applying the right "dosing" to maintain boundaries yet not fracture relationships or suffer other losses. I am able to help you learn to regulate your body to be able to apply the appropriate "dose" to be effective and not destructive.

I do not believe in "anger management". Instead, I believe in being in control of your emotions - including anger. My clients discover how to be in control of their feelings of anger or rage - instead of the anger or rage controlling them. My clients discover how they can feel anger, but then choose more effective and productive ways of expressing themselves - in ways that no longer lead to regret or hurt - but rather in ways they feel proud and good about.

I focus on providing a constructive and empathetic approach to help clients understand and regulate their emotions. By creating a safe space for clients to explore the roots of their anger, I assist them in identifying triggers and underlying issues that contribute to their emotional responses. Using evidence-based strategies, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and mindfulness techniques, clients learn practical skills to manage their anger effectively and develop healthier coping mechanisms. This approach not only aids in reducing immediate anger outbursts but also fosters long-term emotional resilience and improved interpersonal relationships.

I help clients learn self-regulation tools to manage their regressions. We explore relational histories that have contributed to steady-state regressions and the challenge of managing secondary emotions. Ultimately, my clients are able to find healing from their previously reactive behaviors and more adaptive ways of handling their emotions. The result is better relationships.

There is so much anger. You might find you struggle in containing it and you when it erupts. You have done and said things you regret. You have tried so hard and it still happens, causing hurt to others and only creating more stress for yourself. You feel embarrassed and frustrated. I can offer you a way though this. There are ways to manage anger and to heal what might be attached to it. You need only reach out. I invite you to email or schedule through the scheduling system on my website.

Anger is one of our fundamental emotions, part of the basic machinery of our mind and personality. In some ways it is a useful tool that helps to motivate and energize us in seeking fairness and justice in the world around us. But this powerful hold-over from our primal history can also be enormously destructive if we lose control of it. If your anger is slipping out of your control and you find yourself saying or doing things that damage your reputation or your relationships, hurt those around you, or otherwise consistently put you on the outside of society's expectations for behavior, you need help to find tools or strategies to change this and I would be happy to help.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of anger management in a very humane yet fresh perspective. You see, anger is a normal emotion but it is the valence (intensity) as well as the coupling choice of what one does with this that is the problem. Telling someone to "not" do it or modifying behavior with a trite psychological plan that only breeds a compliant response is not the way to change anger. Brainwaive optimization is a new cutting edge technology that allows one to rewire circuitry responsible for reactivity driving the anger. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161

Anger can be a difficult beast to manage that can fracture or relationships and create guilt and shame, but it is possible to treat it. With the aid of tools like EMDR CBT and guided visualizations I can help you overcome this issue and heal from the issues that drive it. Additionally, I can provide tools, coping skills, and other resources to help you manage this particular issue.