Anger Management and Counseling in Montecito, CA.

Do you find yourself flying into a rage over little things? Are you wondering why you have such intense reactions? Do you feel out of control once the switch has been flipped? Many clients I have worked with have struggled with this in themselves or in their children. It can feel mysterious and overwhelming. I am here to assure you that there is a reason. These behaviors make sense, and we can work together to find their cause and to get some relief.

I believe that we need to express our anger, to get it out of our bodies or it might adversely effect our physical health. I use a number of different tools, such as a baseball bat and pillows or bean bags to throw, to help clients to find constructive expressions of their angry feelings. There is always safety guidelines. Clients are initially often shy about using the bat or the bean bags but most always report great release and relieve when done. I also encourage journal writing about the unexpressed words and when appropriate letter writing to express the so far unsaid, even if it is from years ago.

I help clients learn self-regulation tools to manage their regressions. We explore relational histories that have contributed to steady-state regressions and the challenge of managing secondary emotions. Ultimately, my clients are able to find healing from their previously reactive behaviors and more adaptive ways of handling their emotions. The result is better relationships.

Anger can often feel so overwhelming that it causes you to do things you later regret. Not knowing what came over you, there are many unanswered questions: why do I keep doing this? why can't I stop myself? Sometimes, alcohol, substances, or other addictive behaviours lead to this anger, making it more difficult to control. As an addiction counsellor, I help clients overcome addictions leading to anger issues so they can regain a sense of control, rebuild relationships, and gain clarity about how to move forward. If you are unsure where to start, send me a message and I can help. If I'm not the right fit, I can connect you to the right support so you can start gaining back control, today.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of anger management in a very humane yet fresh perspective. You see, anger is a normal emotion but it is the valence (intensity) as well as the coupling choice of what one does with this that is the problem. Telling someone to "not" do it or modifying behavior with a trite psychological plan that only breeds a compliant response is not the way to change anger. Brainwave optimization is a new cutting edge technology that allows one to rewire circuitry responsible for reactivity driving the anger. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

Anger is the fight emotion. When other people cross the line with us we get mad and we need to let them know it's not okay. Letting someone else know that you're angry in a safe way rather than violent way is very important and a key to all healthy relationships. If you have a problem with anger, I can help you to work through the feelings and learn to set boundaries with other people in a safe way that doesn't hurt them or you.

As a culture, we do not do well with healthy expressions of anger. Often we are raised to suppress it and then we have limited practice at dealing with big emotion. There is a spectrum of healthy aggression- to keep us safe and to maintain boundaries- and rage- our body's strategy for safety. Anger management is about applying the right "dosing" to maintain boundaries yet not fracture relationships or suffer other losses. I am able to help you learn to regulate your body to be able to apply the appropriate "dose" to be effective and not destructive.

Anger is a natural response to perceived threats. Learning to control anger is a challenge for everyone at times. Consider seeking help for anger issues if your anger seems out of control, causes you to do things you regret, hurts those around you or is taking a toll on your personal relationships. Working collaboratively with me you can: Learn what anger is Identify what triggers your anger Recognize signs that you're becoming angry Learn to respond to frustration and anger in a controlled, healthy way Explore underlying feelings

I aim to help my clients gain a better understanding of their emotions and how to manage them. My practice specializes in anger management and provides tools and techniques to help people maintain stable emotions, stronger relationships, and better communication. I also offer psychoanalytically informed counseling, which helps clients gain insight into their unconscious thoughts and behavior. With my understanding of the human mind, I am able to provide my clients with the support they need to make positive changes in their lives.

IS ANGER MAKING YOUR LIFE MORE DIFFICULT? Are concerned about losing your relationships or job due to anger? Have you tried ways to control it but nothing worked? I can help you learn effective strategies to manage your mental state so that you will be in control of your life instead of being the slave of your emotions. Call me for a free telephone consultation session today to be one step closer to the kind of life you truly want.

I help people struggling with anger management by working with them to develop awareness of their anger experience in their body and mind and how it is impacting their body. I help you learn and practice strategies for regulating your body and mind so you do not lose control of the anger. I help you to learn healthy communication of anger, and the development of conflict resolution skills. I support you in exploring issues of transference from past relationships and experiences that may be contributing to your strong feelings of anger in present circumstances and relationships. We create safety, increase positive expression of anger, and reduce or eliminate sources of anger when possible!

I believe anger is a secondary emotion, covering other feelings such as grief, depression, anxiety, and/or hurt. Often times anger management is a signal for a need for trauma work, which can include explore prior experiences that felt stuck or emotionally taxing. Often times when others are angry, it's the only way they can feel heard-- having anger is not the problem, it's, what we do with the anger is what needs to be explored as appropriate or not.

Anger can be a difficult beast to manage that can fracture or relationships and create guilt and shame, but it is possible to treat it. With the aid of tools like EMDR CBT and guided visualizations I can help you overcome this issue and heal from the issues that drive it. Additionally, I can provide tools, coping skills, and other resources to help you manage this particular issue.