Anger Management and Counseling in Live Oak, CA.

Anger is never a first feeling, something always precedes it. After hearing what makes you angry, we search to find out what the first feeling might have been. Often it is fear or hurt. When we know the source it is much easier to address the rage/frustration. I teach my clients how to express strong feelings without blowing up. There is hope for you.

I help clients learn self-regulation tools to manage their regressions. We explore relational histories that have contributed to steady-state regressions and the challenge of managing secondary emotions. Ultimately, my clients are able to find healing from their previously reactive behaviors and more adaptive ways of handling their emotions. The result is better relationships.

A response to life's events falls upon a continuum from neutral to highly-reactive. At times anger, Gandhi called it "Righteous Indignation," is necessary to respond to injustices or inappropriate behaviours. However, uncontrolled, inappropriate anger is destructive to one's self and others. Mindfulness and Metta (Loving Kindness) meditations are excellent tools to deal with anger. Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) also called Tapping, along with skillful use of affirmations can help to cool the fires of anger. The benefits of anger management lead to a regulating of emotions and thus a gaining of peace of mind, positive relationships, career and family security.

Are you plagued by sudden anger outbursts or rages that seem to emerge out of the blue, or that seem out of proportion with what triggered them? Are you puzzled by this behavior, and do you want to find a different way in handling difficult situations, or the unavoidable relational conflicts? I offer a nonjudgmental and safe space where I can help you explore your anger, or inexplicable outbursts. Are you ready for a change, and do you want to invest some time in coming to terms with your anger? I would be honored and very interested in working with you.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of anger management in a very humane yet fresh perspective. You see, anger is a normal emotion but it is the valence (intensity) as well as the coupling choice of what one does with this that is the problem. Telling someone to "not" do it or modifying behavior with a trite psychological plan that only breeds a compliant response is not the way to change anger. Brainwave optimization is a new cutting edge technology that allows one to rewire circuitry responsible for reactivity driving the anger. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

Are you at risk of losing your job or your partner because of your anger? Is your family afraid of you because you seem out of control? Has your anger led to violence or arrests? Anger is a valid emotion that has a bad reputation because of the way it can be expressed. Learn to understand your own anger as well as coping skills that can help you feel more in control. And get to root of your anger. Anger is a complicated emotion that is often protective of a more vulnerable emotion or side of yourself, i.e., fear or sadness. As you learn the skills of self support, you can get your needs met while feeling more in control of yourself and the way you interact with your world as well.

I help people struggling with anger management by working with them to develop awareness of their anger experience in their body and mind and how it is impacting their body. I help you learn and practice strategies for regulating your body and mind so you do not lose control of the anger. I help you to learn healthy communication of anger, and the development of conflict resolution skills. I support you in exploring issues of transference from past relationships and experiences that may be contributing to your strong feelings of anger in present circumstances and relationships. We create safety, increase positive expression of anger, and reduce or eliminate sources of anger when possible!

I treat individuals with histories of trauma. Many adults walk away from abusive childhoods and find themselves acting in angry ways as adults. Anger is only a way that people cope with hardship, and we will work together to learn better ways to cope. Anger is only a symptom-- it does not define you. Anger can mask fear, anxiety, and insecurity. We will work together to find the true underlying issues causing anger. With hard work, you may see the anger melt away over time. I feel our society sees anger as a dirty or shameful part of our mental health, but this must change. You will not be treated poorly in my practice if you are making the effort to learn to cope better!