Anger Management and Counseling in Hollister, CA.

ANGER....something that we all have negative (if not traumatic) experience with. We are taught from a young age that it is no o.k. to feel or express anger. Unfortunately, simply because we ignore or suppress does not mean that it disappears. If left unacknowledged, it remains in our minds, hearts, and bodies. Further, the inappropriate expression of (or LACK of healthy expression) can cause severe damage to our most cherished relationships. Therapy is the ideal place for articulating, as well as learning how to effectively express, our anger. Remember, anger is only an internal alarm system telling us that something needs attention. It's what we do with it that matters.

Do you regularly find yourself frustrated and angry at the people you want to be closest to and that you love the most? Do you strive to stay calm and balanced, but then find yourself going off on people at home or at work? I work with people to recognize how anger comes from unenforceable rules you create for how others, or you yourself, "should" behave. Unrealistic rules create expectations that you waste your life & energy trying to enforce in yourself and others. We will work together to understand the rules you have made that are realistic and helpful, and to give you the choice to change the rules that are creating unnecessary grief for you and the people who want to be close to you.

I treat individuals with histories of trauma. Many adults walk away from abusive childhoods and find themselves acting in angry ways as adults. Anger is only a way that people cope with hardship, and we will work together to learn better ways to cope. Anger is only a symptom-- it does not define you. Anger can mask fear, anxiety, and insecurity. We will work together to find the true underlying issues causing anger. With hard work, you may see the anger melt away over time. I feel our society sees anger as a dirty or shameful part of our mental health, but this must change. You will not be treated poorly in my practice if you are making the effort to learn to cope better!

Anger can be a difficult beast to manage that can fracture or relationships and create guilt and shame, but it is possible to treat it. With the aid of tools like EMDR CBT and guided visualizations I can help you overcome this issue and heal from the issues that drive it. Additionally, I can provide tools, coping skills, and other resources to help you manage this particular issue.

If you are grappling with anger that negatively impacts your live, you will find solace and transformation through anger management therapy. My specialized approach emphasizes improved somatic awareness, allowing recognition and understanding of the physical sensations tied to anger. By fostering a better understanding of emotional patterns, you will be guided to uncover the triggers and underlying causes of the anger. Personalized therapy equips you with the confidence and skills to exert emotional control over a wide range of emotions, leading to more harmonious relationships and a more balanced life. This journey is not just about managing anger, but about unlocking a more peaceful self.

I do not believe in "anger management". Instead, I believe in being in control of your emotions - including anger. My clients discover how to be in control of their feelings of anger or rage - instead of the anger or rage controlling them. My clients discover how they can feel anger, but then choose more effective and productive ways of expressing themselves - in ways that no longer lead to regret or hurt - but rather in ways they feel proud and good about.

Many of us experience anger and/or rage in the course of our relationships. Anger in and of itself is not a problem - in fact its a good way to let you know that there is some vulnerable feeling underneath that is too painful to reach just yet. Its what we DO with our anger that gets us in trouble. I can teach you tools to manage your anger without denying your entitlement to it.

Under the umbrella of anger, resides a host of other negative emotions, to tender to express. Discovering the root of the anger, resolves the anger. Management of anger should not be the final skill to handle anger. Resolving the anger so that little management is needed, is my strategy. EMDR therapy helps with this task of uncovering the source and processing what happened. A high level of anger carried in one's system, consistently stresses the body and the brain, lowering serotonin levels and causing numerous physical ailments. If your anger has worn you down, please phone me for a consultation about EMDR for anger remedy, a more permanent solution to cooling off the anger.

As a culture, we do not do well with healthy expressions of anger. Often we are raised to suppress it and then we have limited practice at dealing with big emotion. There is a spectrum of healthy aggression- to keep us safe and to maintain boundaries- and rage- our body's strategy for safety. Anger management is about applying the right "dosing" to maintain boundaries yet not fracture relationships or suffer other losses. I am able to help you learn to regulate your body to be able to apply the appropriate "dose" to be effective and not destructive.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of anger management in a very humane yet fresh perspective. You see, anger is a normal emotion but it is the valence (intensity) as well as the coupling choice of what one does with this that is the problem. Telling someone to "not" do it or modifying behavior with a trite psychological plan that only breeds a compliant response is not the way to change anger. Brainwave optimization is a new cutting edge technology that allows one to rewire circuitry responsible for reactivity driving the anger. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

When you are struggling to manage anger, there can often be feelings of shame, guilt and sadness due to feeling like anger is out of control. I can support you in improving how you experience strong emotions such as anger and reduce the impact anger has on your life and relationships. I am experienced in several approaches to the work of Anger Management, including CBT, DBT and Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR). I can support you in gaining and practicing skills to manage anger in a way that allows you to better understand and articulate what you are thinking and feeling, which will help you improve your relationships and lead to an overall better sense of self.

Anger management counseling can help to identify stressors and learn the steps to stay calm in the face of anger. The goal is to handle tense situations in more constructive and positive ways by reducing the emotional and physical arousal that anger can cause. It will provide the tools to take back your life and resolve the triggers that result in unplanned anger reactions.