Anger Management and Counseling in Goleta, CA.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of anger management in a very humane yet fresh perspective. You see, anger is a normal emotion but it is the valence (intensity) as well as the coupling choice of what one does with this that is the problem. Telling someone to "not" do it or modifying behavior with a trite psychological plan that only breeds a compliant response is not the way to change anger. Brainwave optimization is a new cutting edge technology that allows one to rewire circuitry responsible for reactivity driving the anger. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

I do not believe in "anger management". Instead, I believe in being in control of your emotions - including anger. My clients discover how to be in control of their feelings of anger or rage - instead of the anger or rage controlling them. My clients discover how they can feel anger, but then choose more effective and productive ways of expressing themselves - in ways that no longer lead to regret or hurt - but rather in ways they feel proud and good about.

If you are grappling with anger that negatively impacts your live, you will find solace and transformation through anger management therapy. My specialized approach emphasizes improved somatic awareness, allowing recognition and understanding of the physical sensations tied to anger. By fostering a better understanding of emotional patterns, you will be guided to uncover the triggers and underlying causes of the anger. Personalized therapy equips you with the confidence and skills to exert emotional control over a wide range of emotions, leading to more harmonious relationships and a more balanced life. This journey is not just about managing anger, but about unlocking a more peaceful self.

I treat individuals with histories of trauma. Many adults walk away from abusive childhoods and find themselves acting in angry ways as adults. Anger is only a way that people cope with hardship, and we will work together to learn better ways to cope. Anger is only a symptom-- it does not define you. Anger can mask fear, anxiety, and insecurity. We will work together to find the true underlying issues causing anger. With hard work, you may see the anger melt away over time. I feel our society sees anger as a dirty or shameful part of our mental health, but this must change. You will not be treated poorly in my practice if you are making the effort to learn to cope better!

IS ANGER MAKING YOUR LIFE MORE DIFFICULT? Are concerned about losing your relationships or job due to anger? Have you tried ways to control it but nothing worked? I can help you learn effective strategies to manage your mental state so that you will be in control of your life instead of being the slave of your emotions. Call me for a free telephone consultation session today to be one step closer to the kind of life you truly want.

I help clients learn self-regulation tools to manage their regressions. We explore relational histories that have contributed to steady-state regressions and the challenge of managing secondary emotions. Ultimately, my clients are able to find healing from their previously reactive behaviors and more adaptive ways of handling their emotions. The result is better relationships.

I aim to help my clients gain a better understanding of their emotions and how to manage them. My practice specializes in anger management and provides tools and techniques to help people maintain stable emotions, stronger relationships, and better communication. I also offer psychoanalytically informed counseling, which helps clients gain insight into their unconscious thoughts and behavior. With my understanding of the human mind, I am able to provide my clients with the support they need to make positive changes in their lives.

As a culture, we do not do well with healthy expressions of anger. Often we are raised to suppress it and then we have limited practice at dealing with big emotion. There is a spectrum of healthy aggression- to keep us safe and to maintain boundaries- and rage- our body's strategy for safety. Anger management is about applying the right "dosing" to maintain boundaries yet not fracture relationships or suffer other losses. I am able to help you learn to regulate your body to be able to apply the appropriate "dose" to be effective and not destructive.

Anger is a natural response to perceived threats. Learning to control anger is a challenge for everyone at times. Consider seeking help for anger issues if your anger seems out of control, causes you to do things you regret, hurts those around you or is taking a toll on your personal relationships. Working collaboratively with me you can: Learn what anger is Identify what triggers your anger Recognize signs that you're becoming angry Learn to respond to frustration and anger in a controlled, healthy way Explore underlying feelings

I believe that we need to express our anger, to get it out of our bodies or it might adversely effect our physical health. I use a number of different tools, such as a baseball bat and pillows or bean bags to throw, to help clients to find constructive expressions of their angry feelings. There is always safety guidelines. Clients are initially often shy about using the bat or the bean bags but most always report great release and relieve when done. I also encourage journal writing about the unexpressed words and when appropriate letter writing to express the so far unsaid, even if it is from years ago.

Anger is the fight emotion. When other people cross the line with us we get mad and we need to let them know it's not okay. Letting someone else know that you're angry in a safe way rather than violent way is very important and a key to all healthy relationships. If you have a problem with anger, I can help you to work through the feelings and learn to set boundaries with other people in a safe way that doesn't hurt them or you.

Do you find yourself flying into a rage over little things? Are you wondering why you have such intense reactions? Do you feel out of control once the switch has been flipped? Many clients I have worked with have struggled with this in themselves or in their children. It can feel mysterious and overwhelming. I am here to assure you that there is a reason. These behaviors make sense, and we can work together to find their cause and to get some relief.

I believe anger is a secondary emotion, covering other feelings such as grief, depression, anxiety, and/or hurt. Often times anger management is a signal for a need for trauma work, which can include explore prior experiences that felt stuck or emotionally taxing. Often times when others are angry, it's the only way they can feel heard-- having anger is not the problem, it's, what we do with the anger is what needs to be explored as appropriate or not.