Anger Management and Counseling in El Segundo, CA.

Are you notorious for your hot temper? Do you have a short fuse, or find yourself getting into frequent arguments and fights? Explosive anger can have serious consequences for your relationships, your health, & your state of mind. Let’s work together to prevent your anger from hijacking your life. In session, we’ll work together so you can gain insight into the real reasons for your anger. I can introduce you to some effective anger management tools, so you can learn how to express your feelings in healthier ways. I can help you learn to express your emotions without hurting yourself or other. Once you do this you’ll not only feel better, you’ll also be more likely to get your needs met.

As a culture, we do not do well with healthy expressions of anger. Often we are raised to suppress it and then we have limited practice at dealing with big emotion. There is a spectrum of healthy aggression- to keep us safe and to maintain boundaries- and rage- our body's strategy for safety. Anger management is about applying the right "dosing" to maintain boundaries yet not fracture relationships or suffer other losses. I am able to help you learn to regulate your body to be able to apply the appropriate "dose" to be effective and not destructive.

I do not believe in "anger management". Instead, I believe in being in control of your emotions - including anger. My clients discover how to be in control of their feelings of anger or rage - instead of the anger or rage controlling them. My clients discover how they can feel anger, but then choose more effective and productive ways of expressing themselves - in ways that no longer lead to regret or hurt - but rather in ways they feel proud and good about.

A response to life's events falls upon a continuum from neutral to highly-reactive. At times anger, Gandhi called it "Righteous Indignation," is necessary to respond to injustices or inappropriate behaviours. However, uncontrolled, inappropriate anger is destructive to one's self and others. Mindfulness and Metta (Loving Kindness) meditations are excellent tools to deal with anger. Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) also called Tapping, along with skillful use of affirmations can help to cool the fires of anger. The benefits of anger management lead to a regulating of emotions and thus a gaining of peace of mind, positive relationships, career and family security.

Anger can be a difficult beast to manage that can fracture or relationships and create guilt and shame, but it is possible to treat it. With the aid of tools like EMDR CBT and guided visualizations I can help you overcome this issue and heal from the issues that drive it. Additionally, I can provide tools, coping skills, and other resources to help you manage this particular issue.

I treat individuals with histories of trauma. Many adults walk away from abusive childhoods and find themselves acting in angry ways as adults. Anger is only a way that people cope with hardship, and we will work together to learn better ways to cope. Anger is only a symptom-- it does not define you. Anger can mask fear, anxiety, and insecurity. We will work together to find the true underlying issues causing anger. With hard work, you may see the anger melt away over time. I feel our society sees anger as a dirty or shameful part of our mental health, but this must change. You will not be treated poorly in my practice if you are making the effort to learn to cope better!

Most of us have some relationship to anger. In a world that is capable of sudden cruelty and profound injustice, anger can be a powerful ally, helping us to take action that leads to real change. But anger can also try to take over our lives by tricking us into doing things we would rather not do, or getting ourselves into trouble. When anger arrives, we will face it together. Might we flip the script? Is it possible to take control of the relationship with anger, to interrogate it and unmask its motivations, its support, and its insidious methods of taking over?