Anger Management and Counseling in Duarte, CA.

Everybody gets angry. Anger is a human emotion which can serve both positive and negative ends which, in itself, is neutral. Frustration, fear, feeling threatened or treated unfairly can trigger an angry outburst in any animal. Anger is a normal human emotion. It can be an appropriate response to injustice, unfairness or discrimination. However, what we need to achieve is a way of expressing anger that is reasonable, measured and proportionate. Cognitive behavioral therapy provides one of many possible answers to managing anger. Feelings are often created by our thoughts and examining our thought processes to see if they are reasonable and rational can help us with emotional regulation.

Anger is a valid feeling, but it's the behavior, what we do with anger, that is problematic. Anger can tell us that something isn't right in the current moment. It may also be the result of valid anger you developed as a child and/or it may just be a result of something you believe. There are many ways that anger can be resolved - by changing thoughts & beliefs, learning to express feelings & needs and learning to calm & soothe ourselves by doing what is called, "regulating the nervous system" in order to stay present, grounded & calm when relating to others.

Where there is smoke there is fire. Likewise, where there is interpersonal conflict, invariably there is frustration and anger. This is no less true between couples and in marriage relationships. And while there may be legitimate reasons to become angry, over time such hostility will become counter-productive, hurting the marriage. I utilize a clinically proven 3-step plan for getting to the source of the anger and resolving it. This approach to anger management fits perfectly within my overall process of resolving conflict between couples and enhancing relationship enjoyment.

I help people struggling with anger management by working with them to develop awareness of their anger experience in their body and mind and how it is impacting their body. I help you learn and practice strategies for regulating your body and mind so you do not lose control of the anger. I help you to learn healthy communication of anger, and the development of conflict resolution skills. I support you in exploring issues of transference from past relationships and experiences that may be contributing to your strong feelings of anger in present circumstances and relationships. We create safety, increase positive expression of anger, and reduce or eliminate sources of anger when possible!

I do not believe in "anger management". Instead, I believe in being in control of your emotions - including anger. My clients discover how to be in control of their feelings of anger or rage - instead of the anger or rage controlling them. My clients discover how they can feel anger, but then choose more effective and productive ways of expressing themselves - in ways that no longer lead to regret or hurt - but rather in ways they feel proud and good about.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of anger management in a very humane yet fresh perspective. You see, anger is a normal emotion but it is the valence (intensity) as well as the coupling choice of what one does with this that is the problem. Telling someone to "not" do it or modifying behavior with a trite psychological plan that only breeds a compliant response is not the way to change anger. Brainwave optimization is a new cutting edge technology that allows one to rewire circuitry responsible for reactivity driving the anger. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.