Anger Management and Counseling in Cotati, CA.

Anger for a long time was labeled as a secondary emotion but some schools of thought have added it to the primary emotions. Whether it is primary or secondary, if you are looking for support with anger management therapy then it is an emotion that is not serving you well. Good for you for seeking support with that! Lets make a plan to get you feeling better.

Anger management counseling can help to identify stressors and learn the steps to stay calm in the face of anger. The goal is to handle tense situations in more constructive and positive ways by reducing the emotional and physical arousal that anger can cause. It will provide the tools to take back your life and resolve the triggers that result in unplanned anger reactions.

Anger is a valid feeling, but it's the behavior, what we do with anger, that is problematic. Anger can tell us that something isn't right in the current moment. It may also be the result of valid anger you developed as a child and/or it may just be a result of something you believe. There are many ways that anger can be resolved - by changing thoughts & beliefs, learning to express feelings & needs and learning to calm & soothe ourselves by doing what is called, "regulating the nervous system" in order to stay present, grounded & calm when relating to others.

Volatile, out-of-control anger can destroy so much of what you love. The necessary first step with destructive anger is to become sensitive to when and how it arises which allows you to employ well-practiced self-regulation strategies to divert the destructive explosion. My therapeutic domain is to help you with the equally necessary second step of anger work. The only way that you can ultimately resolve the anger problem in your life is to go to the hurt underneath the anger, which is the root cause. I provide a safe container and steady, empathic guidance as we move together to experience the depth and the texture of rich emotional energy that has been mis-directed through angry explosion.

Anger management counseling can help to identify stressors and learn the steps to stay calm in the face of anger. The goal is to handle tense situations in more constructive and positive ways by reducing the emotional and physical arousal that anger can cause. It will provide the tools to take back your life and resolve the triggers that result in unplanned anger reactions.

I treat individuals with histories of trauma. Many adults walk away from abusive childhoods and find themselves acting in angry ways as adults. Anger is only a way that people cope with hardship, and we will work together to learn better ways to cope. Anger is only a symptom-- it does not define you. Anger can mask fear, anxiety, and insecurity. We will work together to find the true underlying issues causing anger. With hard work, you may see the anger melt away over time. I feel our society sees anger as a dirty or shameful part of our mental health, but this must change. You will not be treated poorly in my practice if you are making the effort to learn to cope better!

Anger is one of our fundamental emotions, part of the basic machinery of our mind and personality. In some ways it is a useful tool that helps to motivate and energize us in seeking fairness and justice in the world around us. But this powerful hold-over from our primal history can also be enormously destructive if we lose control of it. If your anger is slipping out of your control and you find yourself saying or doing things that damage your reputation or your relationships, hurt those around you, or otherwise consistently put you on the outside of society's expectations for behavior, you need help to find tools or strategies to change this and I would be happy to help.

Clients with anger issues can benefit from working with a therapist who is experienced at helping you learn how to manage your strong feelings more effectively and how to communicate with those around you more effectively, so that you are not so triggered to lose your temper as easily. Clients will frequently find that the time they are remaining angry decreases as they do the work. So, initially someone may stay angry for 3 days at a time. Over time with practice one may find themselves staying angry only for two days, then one day. Learning to manage your anger feels empowering. Learning to communicate helps reduce frustration and increases the experience of connection with others.

One of the most misunderstood aspects of chronic anger is that it is actually a secondary emotion. Underneath chronic anger is pain from a core wound such as physical or emotional trauma or the victim- persecutor pattern. I will guide you to identify your core wounds and work on healing your inner child while also providing you with tools and outlets to help you control anger reactions with others. You will learn mindfulness practices such as cultivating a relationship with your Higher self, somatic practices breath work practices , as well as communication tools. I also incorporate radical forgiveness work, which is a game changer when it comes to healing anger issues.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of anger management in a very humane yet fresh perspective. You see, anger is a normal emotion but it is the valence (intensity) as well as the coupling choice of what one does with this that is the problem. Telling someone to "not" do it or modifying behavior with a trite psychological plan that only breeds a compliant response is not the way to change anger. Brainwave optimization is a new cutting edge technology that allows one to rewire circuitry responsible for reactivity driving the anger. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

Anger can often feel so overwhelming that it causes you to do things you later regret. Not knowing what came over you, there are many unanswered questions: why do I keep doing this? why can't I stop myself? Sometimes, alcohol, substances, or other addictive behaviours lead to this anger, making it more difficult to control. As an addiction counsellor, I help clients overcome addictions leading to anger issues so they can regain a sense of control, rebuild relationships, and gain clarity about how to move forward. If you are unsure where to start, send me a message and I can help. If I'm not the right fit, I can connect you to the right support so you can start gaining back control, today.

We come into this world with the ability to cry, express anger and joy. This is nature’s gift for us to heal ourselves. It is our birthright. We can hold on to this “natural healing process” if at least one person in our life is willing to allow us to express these feelings. I teach people how to express anger in appropriate ways. If you have ever had a good cry, you know that the result is an ability to think more clearly afterwards. Feelings can get in the way of clear thinking. That's why when a child begins to act out, they often cannot be reasoned with. Their thinking is muddled with all the feelings. Same is true for adults. Treasure the therapist who works w/ deep feelings.

As a culture, we do not do well with healthy expressions of anger. Often we are raised to suppress it and then we have limited practice at dealing with big emotion. There is a spectrum of healthy aggression- to keep us safe and to maintain boundaries- and rage- our body's strategy for safety. Anger management is about applying the right "dosing" to maintain boundaries yet not fracture relationships or suffer other losses. I am able to help you learn to regulate your body to be able to apply the appropriate "dose" to be effective and not destructive.

Anger is a basic or primal emotion that is closley linked to the fight or flight response. So at its best, anger is there to protect you or a loved one. However, when anger is triggerred to easily, erupts inapropriatley, affects important personal or occupational relationships, then it is time to learn a new way of addressing your anger. I can help you learn better ways of communicating when you are angry that do not lead to destructive outbursts. I can also help you look underneath the anger to other issues and feelings that may be present. Some people get angry because it is a familiar feeling when really they are feelilng scared or sad. I can help you identify underling issues.