Anger Management and Counseling in Bermuda Dunes, CA.

For men and teens, anger is one of the few acceptable emotions but when it gets out of hand, it can hurt those we love and endanger our relationships. I work with men and teens to explore the underlying issues that result in their anger to free them to convert the anger into more useful ways to communicate. This results in more productive and healthier ways to express their needs, fears and desires. With women, I make it easier for them to express their anger, which they have suppressed most of their life. When women realize they have the right to their anger, they are freed to express more and become the person they have always wanted to be, particularly in their relationships.

Anger can often feel so overwhelming that it causes you to do things you later regret. Not knowing what came over you, there are many unanswered questions: why do I keep doing this? why can't I stop myself? Sometimes, alcohol, substances, or other addictive behaviours lead to this anger, making it more difficult to control. As an addiction counsellor, I help clients overcome addictions leading to anger issues so they can regain a sense of control, rebuild relationships, and gain clarity about how to move forward. If you are unsure where to start, send me a message and I can help. If I'm not the right fit, I can connect you to the right support so you can start gaining back control, today.

As a culture, we do not do well with healthy expressions of anger. Often we are raised to suppress it and then we have limited practice at dealing with big emotion. There is a spectrum of healthy aggression- to keep us safe and to maintain boundaries- and rage- our body's strategy for safety. Anger management is about applying the right "dosing" to maintain boundaries yet not fracture relationships or suffer other losses. I am able to help you learn to regulate your body to be able to apply the appropriate "dose" to be effective and not destructive.

Anger is one of our fundamental emotions, part of the basic machinery of our mind and personality. In some ways it is a useful tool that helps to motivate and energize us in seeking fairness and justice in the world around us. But this powerful hold-over from our primal history can also be enormously destructive if we lose control of it. If your anger is slipping out of your control and you find yourself saying or doing things that damage your reputation or your relationships, hurt those around you, or otherwise consistently put you on the outside of society's expectations for behavior, you need help to find tools or strategies to change this and I would be happy to help.

A response to life's events falls upon a continuum from neutral to highly-reactive. At times anger, Gandhi called it "Righteous Indignation," is necessary to respond to injustices or inappropriate behaviours. However, uncontrolled, inappropriate anger is destructive to one's self and others. Mindfulness and Metta (Loving Kindness) meditations are excellent tools to deal with anger. Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) also called Tapping, along with skillful use of affirmations can help to cool the fires of anger. The benefits of anger management lead to a regulating of emotions and thus a gaining of peace of mind, positive relationships, career and family security.

I treat individuals with histories of trauma. Many adults walk away from abusive childhoods and find themselves acting in angry ways as adults. Anger is only a way that people cope with hardship, and we will work together to learn better ways to cope. Anger is only a symptom-- it does not define you. Anger can mask fear, anxiety, and insecurity. We will work together to find the true underlying issues causing anger. With hard work, you may see the anger melt away over time. I feel our society sees anger as a dirty or shameful part of our mental health, but this must change. You will not be treated poorly in my practice if you are making the effort to learn to cope better!

Tired of losing control? Anger in itself can be a good thing but all to often people regret how they manage their anger. I use proven techniques to teach healthy expression of anger. Anger is not always simple and it usually masks other feelings. I often discuss the role of anger within couples and families. Learning new skills can make all the difference. Call for help today.