Grief and Loss Counselling in Chemainus, BC.

Did you know that the "stages of grief" were actually developed for those facing death, NOT for those who have lost a loved one? Unfortunately, this leads many to feel they MUST grief in a certain order of stages. -And that if they don't, that they are somehow doing it wrong. NOT TRUE! Grief looks different for everyone and happens at it's own pace. I offer non-judgemental support and guidance to those who have suffered a significant loss. This includes the complicated grief of losing a living family member to addiction, mental illness or brain disease such as dementia.

Many life events can force us to be struggling with feelings of grief and loss not just the death of someone close to us. Life transitions like separations, job losses, health issues can be challenging and can take longer to adjust to without healthy support people who can help us to explore our thoughts and feelings. Rather than avoiding the pain attached to these difficult life transitions and losses, counselling can encourage us to move through the grief toward acceptance of the new reality.

When we are facing grief and loss, there is often a complex web of emotions and many layers of meaning-making to encounter in our healing process. The path is never linear. The timeline requires sensitivity and nuance. Compassion, patience and the ability to hold seemingly contradictory feelings are paramount. With gentle presence, we can hold the magnitude and the subtleties of this experience moving step by step towards healing.

When working with grief and loss, I see that it affects a person's whole life in various ways. I recognize that it comes in waves and each person has their own timeline for working through it. I encourage clients to tell their story and not be afraid to share it with others, but that others will not always be open to hearing. Part of grieving is working through the memories and see each area of loss.

Grief is a potential reaction to a loss of any kind whether through death, divorce, abandonment, separation, job loss, illness, disease diagnosis, kids leaving home, etc. Feelings of anger, resentment, shame, confusion, isolation or abandonment can result. Friends and family may not know what to say or how to provide support. A trained professional, who is profoundly sympathetic, respectful and empathetic, with the skills required to help one navigate through this difficult time, can be critical in helping one regain equilibrium.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of grief & loss through the lens of innovation----instead of growing the same neural networks responsible for the pain in weekly therapy sessions, we reset the brain to move forward quicker and efficiently by working on the stuck limbic system so as to empower the person with more success and traction. For no one wants to stay in a grief mode for too long; but when you don’t include the brain in your work with someone, you risk describing the water to them while they drown and calling it success. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

Losing a friend or family member can be devastating no matter the circumstances. We can also experience pain from losing a pet, a job or the ending of a relationship. Regardless of what kind of grief or loss you are struggling with, I will support you in facing your pain and finding a way forward. I will help you to understand the process and stages of grief and make sense of it. When we come to make meaning out of our loss our pain is lessened. I will also help you find peace and acceptance.

Grief and loss is an area of focus at Island Clinical Counselling. Therapy involves spending time in the emotions associated with the grief and loss in order to allow the individual to process the emotion in a healthy way. Experiencing grief and loss is like no other emotion and sometimes is connected to trauma. We ensure clients are treated in a trauma informed way so that their safety is prioritized.

A loved one dying affects everyone in a family and each member will work through their grief in their own way and timeframe. Empathizing and listening while offering comfort and support as individuals work through their depression, anger and guilt of the emotional roller coaster of grief in a safe environment for expression of self will enable one to move forward towards a healthier life.

After significant loss, you may experience difficult and surprising emotions, such as anger, shock and guilt. It may feel like the sadness will never go away. I know personally what this feels like and I support many people who are trying to find ways to cope and find their reason to continue. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. There are however many healthy ways to cope with the pain. You can get through it! I can help you.

Experiencing a loss goes beyond the loss of the family, friend, pet, or child to be. Not only have you lost the loved one physically; you lose what your life was with them; and what your future with them would have been. Overcoming such loss can feel overwhelming and impossible to heal. Counselling can make a significant difference in getting through this difficult period. Family members who may mean well may not understand the loss and inadvertently cause us pain: by expecting us to ‘get over it’, and by impatient and unsympathetic. Counselling offers a compassionate sounding board that is sympathetic and non-judgemental. We are able to heal at our own pace in a supportive environment.

When losing someone or something important to us, it can take lots time to adjust and learn to live our life without that person, thing or way of life. Either it is the death of a loved one, loss of a relationship, loss of a pet, loss of a job or important possessions, change to your way of life, grieving is a normal response to a life event and bottling it up can create damage or even harm to a person. It can take time to adjust and accept to learn to live life without that person, thing or way of life. When it gets too challenging or overwhelming, or if it gets in a way of living a healthy life, sometimes turning to professional support can help getting through this challenging event.

Losing someone through a relationship break up, the loss of life, or a major change in life circumstances can be the most profoundly sad experiences we endure in this life. A loss may feel insurmountable or you may be numb, rejecting the loss, avoiding the suffering that comes with acknowledging a new reality. It is sad but true that suffering is a part of human existence. But so is joy, happiness and contentment. Counselling can help you understand what you need in order to grieve. Recognizing the importance of your loss, accepting it and making plans for moving forward can help you continue on your path and learn to cope and survive your grief.