Family Counselling Services in Vancouver, BC.

We all need connection, so why is it that our family relationships are so often painful? Through paying attention to the patterns of communication and power dynamics in your family, a picture can start to develop as to how your family operates. What are the unspoken rules? What's needs to be brought into the room so that you can clear up whatever is between you? I work with families from a win-win perspective. The goal is to find out how everyone can get more of what they want and less of what they don't want, with improved communication as the new norm. Let's find a way that you can let each other be with respect, care, and loving (not intrusive) concern.

Family dynamics can be a complicated and sensitive balance within a home. This can be made increasingly complicated by divorce, blended families, individual parenting, spiritual values, health issues and much more. Counseling can provide family members a neutral voice and a place to be heard when fighting and arguing is impacting daily functioning and happiness, of one or more family members. We also help develop necessary tools to resolve conflict in a healthy way, bringing peace and harmony back to everyday lives.

Imagine a family as a tree with branches, roots, trunk representing parts of the immediate and extended family. When working with families, all elements are considered. Usually there is a request for family therapy due to one of it's members in crisis, often a child. However, when an analysis of need is done it becomes apparent that more than one member of the family needs help in adjusting, growing and learning new behaviours. Clients contact me for a variety of reasons: to improve communications, solve family problems, support in special situations such as death, divorce, marriage, illness, child or adolescent issues.

The UBC Psychology Clinic is an outpatient mental health and state-of-the-art training clinic in the Department of Psychology at the University of British Columbia. We offer comprehensive psychological services for children, adolescents, adults, and families in the Greater Vancouver community. We provide affordable, professional services using the most recent advances in mental health care. All our services are confidential and meet the ethical guidelines established by the College of Psychologists of British Columbia.

Family counselling begins with the foundation that each member has inherent worth and requires dignity, respect and healthy relationships to thrive. For more complex parent/child dynamics, PCC offers a unique team approach where the child(ren) and parent(s) each have their own therapist. This provides children (esp older children and young adults) a safe space to feel heard and supported. With the family's permission the counsellors consult and together create a family plan. The results of this approach have been truly outstanding.

Family therapy provides a collaborative space for families to address relational challenges, improve communication, and foster understanding and cohesion. Systemic approaches are used to explore family dynamics, roles, and patterns of interaction. Through interventions like genograms, structural techniques, and narrative therapy, families gain insight into their strengths and areas for growth. By promoting empathy, enhancing communication skills, and facilitating conflict resolution, family therapy supports families in navigating transitions, healing wounds, and building stronger, more resilient bonds.

My approach is centered on fostering open communication, understanding, and cohesion among family members. Recognizing the unique dynamics within familial relationships, I tailor interventions to address the complexities of diverse family structures. By emphasizing effective communication strategies, conflict resolution, and the cultivation of a supportive family environment, my goal is to strengthen the bonds that connect each family member. Through a collaborative process, clients benefit from developing practical tools to navigate challenges, build resilience, and foster a harmonious family life.

I approach family work using ‘systems’ principles. Each family member is part of the whole – the system. When any one part of a system changes, the impacts of this change ripple out to all of the other parts - regardless if any other part is seeking to change or not. I believe the key to healthy family systems lies in the process of ‘differentiation’ - how can each member of a family become differentiated (their full individual self), while maintaining intimacy and connection with the others (see Bowen’s work). Family cohesiveness involves practically learning to respect each other, set boundaries, and develop assertive communication skills.

Most of us do not live in a vacuum. We live among people, so sometimes therapy should involve those people, too. I have a lot of experience working with parents and children, and have had great success in helping parents see the very best in their children, and helping children open up more to the love of their parents. There is nothing more satisfying to me.

Working with families using family systems approach and doing assessments facilitated by creative techniques and arts-based activities. Helping families improve their communication by means of Imago dialogue (reflecting back and summarizing what's been heard). Conflict management and mediation; teaching coping strategies such as "I-talk".

Most family therapists inadvertently create more chaos through their well-intentioned efforts to assist a family move through a change process. Why? Brains are inherently deregulated (all of us, may I add) and most talking and dialoguing misses brain-centric problems that need more intensive help. Many times the emotional trauma created by years of solving problems ineffectively can wreak havoc on the brain's parasympathetic nervous system, not ever giving the family a break from flight or fight thinking. Contact us for an innovative neuroscience solution to family dysfunction. Kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

Despite the best intentions of ourselves and our family members, we are often tangled in patterns of invalidation, rejection, frustration and blame. It can feel so messy that we operate in a constant state of fear and a crippling sense of unworthiness. In 2008 I started my counselling career as a family therapist. A combination of individual and joint sessions will take place to allow the space for all voices to be respectfully heard, while helping to identify bigger ‘systems’ patterns that keep you stuck in pain and finger-pointing. I will help to smooth out communication, make room for wants and needs and to heal the old wounds holding you back from having a healthier relationship.

Our approach involves the utilization of family system therapy techniques to aid families in identifying recurrent interaction patterns and the roles assumed by each family member that influence individual behaviors within the family setting. Our objective is to enhance family members' understanding of dynamics and ineffective communication patterns while offering support in improving communication skills, conflict management, and facilitating mutual understanding.

Families are very intricate systems. Like other systems, families unconsciously like to maintain the status quo and keep the existing patterns. This is the primary reason why many families remain stuck in dysfunctional patterns for years. My goal is to help families recognize the patter they are stuck in, the role each person plays in the pattern, and how they can change that role.

As a mother of two, I am constantly witnessing my theoretical background as a counsellor flying out the window. Parenting tests our mettle by the minute, and even the hardiest of us all, get bent. I use an attachment based parenting approach, whereby our bond and connection to our children is primary. Together we work to establish this trust and connection, and all else follows, not necessarily easily, but with conscious choice and understanding of our actions and reactions. I use a collaborative approach for older families, attempting to engage all family members in responsibility and unity.

Today family can mean different things to different people. Each family structure is challenged with their own set of difficulties and problems. Whether you are a blended family, single parent family due to divorce or loss, adoptive family, same sex parents, or traditional, we recognize family dynamics can be complicated. Together we will work to develop strong communication skills between each family member, while nurturing and solidifying the family unit. We will work to overcome conflict, heal the wounds of the past, build parenting skills and create a safe environment where all family members can be heard.

Family therapy provides the opportunity to explore how unfinished business or unhealed loss in your family of origin affects how you cope with life challenges in the present. We will explore family history and major events in your family, sometimes going back generations, to find out how family members were affected by those events, and how you may be affected by them in your life now. We also have the opportunity to find the health, strength and wisdom in the family through the generations.

Families are the cornerstone to our society and the heart of our community. Kathryn is passionate to support families as a whole and each invaluable member. No matter how traditional families have changed over time from divorce, separation, adoption, blended families, solo parenting etc., Kathryn is open, empathic and skilled in helping you redefine what it means to be a "family"; and how to move forward and celebrate that precious unit.

This type of therapy can help families cope with domestic violence, depression, inter-generational trauma, job loss and chronic illness. Together we take an integrative look at the impact of family dynamics, individual values, marital goals, and the cohesion of the family unit. We examine these factors to create a more productive team within the family unit itself.

I am a trained family constellations facilitator (as seen on Netflix, “Sex, Love & goop”, episode 5) and also have training through my graduate studies in family systems. As well I have a 210-hour practical Certificate in Interest-based Conflict Resolution from the Justice Institute of BC. I bring all these and an inherent belief in the power of intention to heal and restore love’s flow in families.