Family Counselling Services in Port Alberni, BC.

Managing work, children, your partner, your finances, time for yourself, keeping your home clean and your garden or hobbies from fading to a distant memory, while simultaneously staying happy, positive and excited about the future or the goals you set out to achieve can be summed up in the single word: overwhelming! Perhaps your children are out of control or you feel that no matter how much you try, you are a million miles from where you thought you would be 10 years ago, but you cannot see a way forward that doesn't end in disappointment? Well, you are not alone. There is hope. Together, we can review, study and learn new ways to manage and stay happy, so you get what you want in the end.

Despite the best intentions of ourselves and our family members, we are often tangled in patterns of invalidation, rejection, frustration and blame. It can feel so messy that we operate in a constant state of fear and a crippling sense of unworthiness. In 2008 I started my counselling career as a family therapist. A combination of individual and joint sessions will take place to allow the space for all voices to be respectfully heard, while helping to identify bigger ‘systems’ patterns that keep you stuck in pain and finger-pointing. I will help to smooth out communication, make room for wants and needs and to heal the old wounds holding you back from having a healthier relationship.

Family dynamics are often challenging. I offer a neutral, safe space for all perspectives to be heard and for sources of conflict to be identified and discussed. Each family member's perspective is welcomed and taken into account during any conflict resolution that may take place. These sessions allow you and your loved ones to understand each other on a deeper level and promotes a sense of teamwork, love, and togetherness.

Imagine a family as a tree with branches, roots, trunk representing parts of the immediate and extended family. When working with families, all elements are considered. Usually there is a request for family therapy due to one of it's members in crisis, often a child. However, when an analysis of need is done it becomes apparent that more than one member of the family needs help in adjusting, growing and learning new behaviours. Clients contact me for a variety of reasons: to improve communications, solve family problems, support in special situations such as death, divorce, marriage, illness, child or adolescent issues.

Today family can mean different things to different people. Each family structure is challenged with their own set of difficulties and problems. Whether you are a blended family, single parent family due to divorce or loss, adoptive family, same sex parents, or traditional, we recognize family dynamics can be complicated. Together we will work to develop strong communication skills between each family member, while nurturing and solidifying the family unit. We will work to overcome conflict, heal the wounds of the past, build parenting skills and create a safe environment where all family members can be heard.

Most family therapists inadvertently create more chaos through their well-intentioned efforts to assist a family move through a change process. Why? Brains are inherently deregulated (all of us, may I add) and most talking and dialoguing misses brain-centric problems that need more intensive help. Many times the emotional trauma created by years of solving problems ineffectively can wreak havoc on the brain's parasympathetic nervous system, not ever giving the family a break from flight or fight thinking. Contact us for an innovative neuroscience solution to family dysfunction. Kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

Like all relationships our relationships with our family members may require outside help to evolve alongside our own personal development. Our Adlerian understanding of families allow us to appreciate the experiences within a family system, like birth order and dynamics amongst various family members to better understand the work involved in improving the quality of those relationships. We strive to help clients feel warmly accepted and welcomed within their own families.