Great Couples Counselling in Vancouver, BC. Therapy to heal relationships.

My role as a couple's therapist to create a safe haven, a calm bay, for you to make the repairs as needed, for you to re-embark on your journey together, stronger, more connected and back on the same team. The storminess of relationships is as natural as waves in the ocean, our ability to stay connect during the swells and crashing waves is what makes or breaks a marriage, not the wave itself. Our work together focuses on identifying our patterns and our partners patterns as we run for cover in the tumult of the wave. We then work on understanding, supporting and staying reconnected.

If you're looking to improve your relationship, we'd work together to create a supportive environment for discussion, allowing each of you to share your perspective and experience. With important conversations and empathetic questions, there's opportunity to truly see each other and to collaborate to resolve the issues rather than engaging in blame. Together, we'd uncover experiences that promote mutual understanding, empathy and appreciation. Through this process you'll gain insights, develop new ways of communicating, strengthen your connection and establish a more fulfilling and harmonious relationship.

I work with couples using Gottman Therapy, Emotionally Focused Therapy and Attachment Therapy. I will help you identify your maladaptive patterns of behaviour and improve your communication skills. There is no shame in getting some coaching in how we connect with each other and how we can better meet each others needs. I use a strengths based approach to help you see the positives and remember why you fell in love.

In Couples Counselling with me, I blend therapeutic approaches, including Gottman Couples Therapy, to create a safe, nonjudgmental space for partners to openly communicate and address relationship concerns. Through evidence-based techniques like Gottman assessments and proven strategies, couples can enhance understanding, develop healthier communication, and rebuild trust. The benefits include improved communication, emotional intimacy, and a renewed connection. Whether resolving conflicts, reigniting the spark, or enhancing the bond, I empower couples to build a fulfilling partnership.

Each relationship faces unique hurdles and holds unique potential for growth. By skillfully tuning in to each other's inner worlds, learning new ways of being together and strategies for navigating conflict, we'll resolve what is hindering you. We’ll get creative and collaborate on new possibilities. Intimate relationships can bring out the deepest parts of ourselves and ignite personal transformation. Learning about how we relate is key to learning about ourselves and each other.

Couples counselling focuses on developing strong communication skills, conflict resolution techniques, forgiveness, and effective dialogue. Many couples experience frustration at some point in their relationship where they feel they are not heard, valued or even loved any more. A toxic cycle of blaming, fighting and pulling away begins to form, creating distance and fatigue. For others an affair has shaken the very core of the safety and love they once felt in their relationship. It can be an agonizing and terrifying discovery for the partner who has been betrayed, and strong feelings of guilt, shame and a lack of understanding to how it even happened for the offending partner. Whether you are looking for a tune up to build back the excitement and...(view profile to read more)

Sue Johnson teaches in her emotion focussed therapy that there is a specific emotional process - a dance - that occurs between each couple. This cycle of relating (which can start with not getting one’s needs met and be followed by some protective response, for example), is largely informed by each partner’s early attachment wounds. When our relationship does not offer enough safety to be vulnerable, or when the more honest we are with our partner the more our connection is threatened, it’s time to reach out for support. In couples therapy we work to establish safety, vulnerability and connection, as well as learn the practical skills of effective communication and conflict resolution.

Our intimate relationships are where our deepest issues arise and our greatest healing can occur. In couples therapy we build on the principles of openness and honesty, creating a safe space where each partner can safely share their deepest needs and concerns. We work on individual awareness of personal issues that each person brings with them from their past while focussing on deepening the connection that they each yearn for.

Most couples get stuck at some point in their relationship. Intimacy is challenging for most us! I have a 2 pronged approach: I teach communication and conflict resolution skills as well as going deeper to discover the driving forces which lead to conflict. Conflict, once resolved, can lead to greater intimacy. The struggles you are facing now are the key to future deeper happiness and fulfillment and an opportunity for growth. I work with all types of couples.

What are the most common couples' issues? If you are thinking "communication, conflict, sex, money, child rearing" you are correct. However, most therapists will go after the symptom on each side of the couple fence thinking that the way to effective change is by getting each party to "work" on their respective "issue". Many times the parties don’t agree but comply. Imagine if you could align the unconscious brains of a couple and stop the "working on your issues" part that has become so popular in therapy settings? Contact kevin@kevinflemingphd.com to learn how! Or call 877-606-6161. DR. FLEMING'S NEW RELATIONSHIP/COUPLES INTENSIVES. www.kevinflemingphd.com/marriage-couples-retreats.php

Relationships can become tense, defensive, and hostile. Sometimes, ruptures in trust occur that leave us questioning "should I still be with you?" When our relationships feel insecure, we react often through becoming critical/nagging, or shutting down and checking out. I practice a form of evidence-based couples therapy called Emotion-Focused Therapy for Couples (EFT). Through EFT, we identify the negative cycle that has come to define your relationship, and work to repair this ruptured attachment bond, helping partners feel safer and freer around one another. This leads to improved intimacy, better communication, and a stronger emotional connection.

I welcome the opportunity to work with couples, whether married or not, LGBTQ, coupling or uncoupling. My goal is for partners to become more curious about themselves and about each other. We explore how unfinished business in one's family of origin and past trauma can affect emotional initmacy between partners. We will address ways of lessening emotional reactivity in order to work on relationship issues in a calm and respectful way.

Are you and your partner stuck in unsolvable arguments? Does one of you tend to ‘demand’ more while the other shuts down and withdraws? Are you feeling less connected and actually adding stress to each other’s lives instead of reducing it? While frustrating, these are perfectly normal patterns of partnership and there is hope. I would be glad to help you untangle the knots, learning to team up together instead of entering battles over who is right. In doing so, we will unpack past traumas and patterns of behaviour, learning to better communicate and to be safely vulnerable in a way that stands your relationship on solid ground.