Great Couples Counselling in Sooke, BC. Therapy to heal relationships.

Dr Sloat's couples counselling is based on the belief that we are all in this world to be happy, and in order to be happy we must have our needs met. When in relationships, people sometimes fail to get their needs met, and when this happens there is conflict and discord. Dr Sloat helps people to clarify and articulate their needs in relation to their partners, and thus facilitates harmony between them. She does not take sides, but instead focuses on helping partners to renegotiate and/or redefine their relationships such that they become viable on both sides. Also see - http://CouplesCounsellingVictoria.info

Loving, successful relationships need to be carefully and skillfully nurtured in the following five areas: Emotional, Intellectual, Spiritual, Sexual, Financial. Couples who are ready to do ongoing work on their relationships are richly rewarded with a loving, meaningful and joyful life together. Committed relationships that have the possibility of morphing into long term relationships benefit greatly by being guided by the Gottman research on relationships as well as Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). Premarital Counselling prepares a couple for a new stage in their relationship by identifying potential areas of conflict and strength and developing tools to create a strong foundation.

Couples have been studied extensively by amongst others Gottman, and this information helps us to look at where you are, to get a sense of the gaps that exist, and to explore systematically what is possible. If you find that you are fighting all the time, have lost confidence, want to hurt your partner, and you are miserable and feeling alone, you need to step back and take a fresh look. Many couples waste precious time in unsolvable power struggles resulting in broken communication and automatic negative responses. Although you may feel hopeless and don't know what to do, couples do manage to change every day. This is often hard to do and takes time, but can also be magical and rewarding.

The first step with my approach to couples therapy is for us to establish rapport as you inform me of the problem that has brought you to therapy. I use a Choice Theory approach which includes defining more closely what each of you want for yourselves as individuals and the relationship as a whole. From there, we get to work on rebuilding trust in the relationship by enhancing communication skills so each of you feel listened to, heard, and respected. Then we can build on trust to establish the changes needed to restore the happiness that brought you together in the first place.

All couples, gay, heterosexual, lesbian, or Bi-sexual are respectfully welcomed. Most frequent issues presented by all couples include sexuality, financial struggles, parenting issues and communication problems. Sexuality probably presents as the most common concern. Some issues are polyamory, impotence, lack of desire, sexual addiction, indidelity, sexual trauma and abuse and incest. Dr. Graham's clients find her easy to talk to and discussion is frank and respectful. Some couples are struggling with questions concerning whether or when to have children and infertily. Most couples have the goal to strengthen their bond but others need support to end an unhappy relationship.

It is common to hear, "the key to a better relationship is better communication." That's really not the main problem in most cases. People do know how to communicate - we're extremely verbal and expressive beings. More often than not, however, we don't like the message that's being communicated! When problems erupt in a relationship, it is more likely because there is little "relating" going on. I help couples identify their patterns, reinforce healthy communication skills, and most importantly, find ways to reconnect - to build relationship. When we are connected to another person, many issues and perceived problems cease to exist.

Communication styles and building constructive communication skills are key to improving any relationship. One lesson we cannot overlook from the teachings of Sue Johnson in her Emotionally Focussed Therapy is that learning to really listen to your partner, learning to empathize and really hear what your partner is telling you by their words and behaviours, is paramount in constructive communications. Couples often get caught in a spin cycle where we stop listening and simply vent, react or ignore. We can always do better and few are more keenly motivated to return to trust, intimacy, sharing and cooperation than couples.

Couples counseling provides a supportive space to strengthen your relationship, enhance communication, and resolve conflicts. My approach focuses on understanding each partner’s perspective, identifying patterns that may be causing tension, and fostering deeper emotional connection. Together, we work on building trust, improving intimacy, and developing tools to navigate challenges constructively. Clients benefit from a renewed sense of partnership, greater empathy for one another, and the skills to create a more harmonious and fulfilling relationship.

i have over 30 years dealing with couples issues and have facilitated many healing relationships. The focus of this work is on recognizing some of the communications that create distance and resentments because members of a couple resort to protecting themselves from fear or pain rather than opening to the truth of what they are experiencing. Once a couple recognizes the value of sharing what is really going on and exploring their differences the intimacy and love returns. I also facilitate an active listening process where each person really listens to the other person without interupting or contradicting. After a bit of practise many couples report that this promotes postive changes.

I understand that navigating relationship issues can be incredibly challenging, affecting both your emotional health and the quality of your partnership. In our couples counselling sessions, we'll establish a safe environment for open dialogue, employing the Gottman Method to identify and address the root causes of your conflicts. This evidence-based approach focuses on improving communication, building empathy, and fostering mutual respect. While the journey to a healthier relationship may take time and commitment from both sides, there's genuine hope for renewal and happiness. Together, we can work towards a more harmonious and fulfilling relationship.

Healing and growing in our sexuality & eroticism can help us understand ourselves and our partners in ways we may have never been privileged to before. It opens us to the appreciation of the full depth and breadth of human erotic expression. I work with individuals and couples. My approach is informed by training as an Erotic Blueprint Coach, somatic attachment and conscious kink. All forms of love, relationship structures, and sexual expression (from the most sensual "vanilla" to the raunchiest kink) welcome.

Couples seek counselling for a variety of reasons. Life brings an assortment of challenges, and it can be difficult to know how to support each other along the way. Our circumstances, family structure, families of origin, busy schedules, childcare, and career demands are just a few of stressors that couples find themselves navigating. I’ll work with you to understand your unique challenges. I'll help you find new strength in your relationship so that you can face today’s, and tomorrow’s, challenges together. Contact today to schedule a free 15 minute consultation.

Being connected to our partners is a great thing – but this closeness can get so complicated! Intimate partners hold a lot of power to disappoint us. How do we get into sync, and get what we need to stay invested? It is hard to manage disappointment. We can sometimes give up too much, agree to things we don’t want – or we go the other way, and start bullying the other person. Both of those are strategies to preserve your connection. Is your strategy working for you? In counselling, I help you clarify what is going on for you, what you both want, and what you can possibly do to get there. I create a safe, easy space to check out your relationship – it may be more fun than you think!

We are proud to offer couples/relationship counselling as we all know that relationships can be both incredibly rewarding and tremendously difficult all at the same time. We believe that trust and safety create a solid foundation from which a relationship can grow. Through both the Gottman method and Emotionally-Focused Couples Therapy we are confident that we can support the growth of healthy, secure attachments characterized by healthy attunement and respect.

Are you and your partner stuck in unsolvable arguments? Does one of you tend to ‘demand’ more while the other shuts down and withdraws? Are you feeling less connected and actually adding stress to each other’s lives instead of reducing it? While frustrating, these are perfectly normal patterns of partnership and there is hope. I would be glad to help you untangle the knots, learning to team up together instead of entering battles over who is right. In doing so, we will unpack past traumas and patterns of behaviour, learning to better communicate and to be safely vulnerable in a way that stands your relationship on solid ground.

Shelley helps couples to enhance their communication, create safety and connection, heal past hurts and frustrations, and restore passion and playfulness. Through the Intentional Dialogue couples learn how to hear each other's perspective with compassion and empathy. With Shelley's guidance, couples can gain more understanding and awareness about the conflicts, and explore the dynamics that are stopping them from getting the love that they want. Couples learn to focus on the positive aspects of each other, and build on the strengths of their relationship, as well as work through the issues, in a safe and connected way, which promotes healing and growth.

My experience is that we all have a deep and powerful urge to bond emotionally with another who will offer us safety and acceptance. Our first experiences of love and attachment in our families set the scene and form our future expectations and sense of deserving (or not) of care and care-taking. Our Couples and Relationship work will be informed by Sue Johnson's "Emotionally Focused Therapy". We will explore each partner's early experiences of attachment. Slowly and gently we will work toward how to re-capture and ignite the flame of love, care and wonder that first drew you to the other.