Great Couples Counselling in Sechelt, BC. Therapy to heal relationships.

I help couples move beyond conflict and distance by focusing on what lies beneath--the patterns and emotions creating problems. I do this in a gentle, non-judgemental way that allows couples to gain control of their interactions, finding a deeper sense of connection, intimacy, and understanding. By connecting emotionally you can avoid the negative interactions which are often rooted in couples not feeling their partner truly hears them. Couples therapy is an active process of helping you find effective, long-term solutions to gridlock, trust, emotional distance, sexual issues, and more. When your relationship works, everything else in life just works that much better.

I'm a down-to-earth, client-centered counsellor that can bring new hope to you and new life to your relationships. I specialize in marriage and couples counselling. I'm trained in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy and Gottman Couples Therapy. With over ten years of experience, I have the tools to get your relationship back on track. I also offer intensive therapy for highly distressed couples. I'm here and ready to listen with warmth, kindness and compassion, without any judgement or criticism.

Couples often seek help when they are unable to resolve common problems and issues. This could be due to a build up of frustrations and disappointment overtime, the loss of affection and caring, an affair, or a traumatic event. A lack of communication, constant disagreements, unfilfilled emotional needs, financial concerns, parenting issues are concerns and the aim to to help couples gain a better understanding of both their partner and themself in order to learn how to interact more positively and effectively. Being an objective third party enables both partners to express themselves in safety, identify and clarify problem areas and determine a compromise where both parties are satisfied

Are you and your partner stuck in unsolvable arguments? Does one of you tend to ‘demand’ more while the other shuts down and withdraws? Are you feeling less connected and actually adding stress to each other’s lives instead of reducing it? While frustrating, these are perfectly normal patterns of partnership and there is hope. I would be glad to help you untangle the knots, learning to team up together instead of entering battles over who is right. In doing so, we will unpack past traumas and patterns of behaviour, learning to better communicate and to be safely vulnerable in a way that stands your relationship on solid ground.

The first step with my approach to couples therapy is for us to establish rapport as you inform me of the problem that has brought you to therapy. I use a Choice Theory approach which includes defining more closely what each of you want for yourselves as individuals and the relationship as a whole. From there, we get to work on rebuilding trust in the relationship by enhancing communication skills so each of you feel listened to, heard, and respected. Then we can build on trust to establish the changes needed to restore the happiness that brought you together in the first place.

Couples and families have many different configurations today and the methods we use foster connections between two people. The brains of human beings are naturally wired for relationship with others so when distance occurs between people, unhappiness and loneliness develops. We offer a facilitated method for couples to explore these feelings, learn about the deeper parts of themselves and each other, and repair the distance between them by using the right combination of compassion and directness. Conflict is not the problem -- conflict is normal and healthy when it is done with good communication tools and personal and interpersonal insight.

When couples begin therapy we often teach strategies such as fair fighting. Avoiding name calling, staying in the here and now (not bringing up the past), reducing the use of harsh language, speaking for one’s own experience (I statements), sticking to one problem at a time, and reducing the volume of their voices can be useful tools. As therapists, we try to get to know the couple’s individual communication styles, support them when working through conflicts of any size, help foster further intimacy, establish appropriate boundaries, navigate grief and loss, and provide a safe space to explore past issues and hurts. We offer Gottman trained counsellors who can support couples.

Relationship are complicated and can be difficult. Each partner has had an upbringing, and life experiences that have shaped their values and outlook on life. These may differ from the outlook and values of their partner. Each partner also has their own methods of coping: direct, avoiding, exploding, running, and retreating. As your counsellor, I will help you both explore how your similarities help and hinder your relationship. You will gain a better understanding of why you and your partner 'do what you do'. You will learn effective ways of communicating, problem solving, managing emotions and conflict; in an effort for you both to achieve respect and love.

What are the most common couples' issues? If you are thinking "communication, conflict, sex, money, child rearing" you are correct. However, most therapists will go after the symptom on each side of the couple fence thinking that the way to effective change is by getting each party to "work" on their respective "issue". Many times the parties don’t agree but comply. Imagine if you could align the unconscious brains of a couple and stop the "working on your issues" part that has become so popular in therapy settings? Contact kevin@kevinflemingphd.com to learn how! Or call 877-606-6161. DR. FLEMING'S NEW RELATIONSHIP/COUPLES INTENSIVES. www.kevinflemingphd.com/marriage-couples-retreats.php

Many couples struggle with communication and "feeling heard". Over time a once happy and vibrant relationship can begin to decay through hurt feelings, anger, lack of attention, feeling valued, infidelity, the strain of children, childhood issues, and much more. We focus to heal the wounds of the past and rebuild the love and trust within the relationship. We work to equip both partners with a voice and ability to effectively listen and hear one another. We will work together to establish individual boundaries within the relationship, while creating a stronger and healthier connection. Our goal is to equip each couple with the tools they require for success, independent of counselling