Great Couples Counselling in Port Moody, BC. Therapy to heal relationships.

My role as a couple's therapist to create a safe haven, a calm bay, for you to make the repairs as needed, for you to re-embark on your journey together, stronger, more connected and back on the same team. The storminess of relationships is as natural as waves in the ocean, our ability to stay connect during the swells and crashing waves is what makes or breaks a marriage, not the wave itself. Our work together focuses on identifying our patterns and our partners patterns as we run for cover in the tumult of the wave. We then work on understanding, supporting and staying reconnected.

In the couple therapy , I assist the couples to identify the dysfunctional patterns that they get stuck in and to understand the underlying maladaptive emotions. I guide partners to become more aware of primary anger and sadness, fear and shame, and the attendant needs and to regulate, make sense of, and communicate these in non-demanding ways to promote security, validation, and warmth. In addition, I help partners reveal their most vulnerable feelings to each other to promote bonding and validation and help couples learn to soothe and transform emotions that are maladaptive.

I have been trained in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy, the Gottman Method and Family Systems. Typically I meet with the couple together for the first session to get an understanding of the presenting problem from both perspectives. From there I meet with each person individually to take a brief relationship and family history and to form a relationship of trust and safety with each partner. The goal is to identify the negative cycle of communication between partners, identify underlying feelings and fears that drive this cycle and finally to create a more secure bond between the couple. I am very experienced with working with couples where one or both partners have experienced trauma

When a couple comes to counselling, they are often desperate for help. They have usually been arguing and drifting farther and farther apart. They feel lonely and dissappointed in their relationship. It is my goal as an Emotionally Focused therapist to help couples identify their patterns and behaviors, so they can make better choices and see major improvement. Through therapy, you begin to understand how your behaviors have impacted your partner, and led to the creation of the emotional distance between you. In essence, I give couples the tools they need to feel closer and rediscover the connection and intimacy they thought was lost forever.

What are the most common couples' issues? If you are thinking "communication, conflict, sex, money, child rearing" you are correct. However, most therapists will go after the symptom on each side of the couple fence thinking that the way to effective change is by getting each party to "work" on their respective "issue". Many times the parties don’t agree but comply. Imagine if you could align the unconscious brains of a couple and stop the "working on your issues" part that has become so popular in therapy settings? Contact kevin@kevinflemingphd.com to learn how! Or call 877-606-6161. DR. FLEMING'S NEW RELATIONSHIP/COUPLES INTENSIVES. www.kevinflemingphd.com/marriage-couples-retreats.php

If you're looking to improve your relationship, we'd work together to create a supportive environment for discussion, allowing each of you to share your perspective and experience. With important conversations and empathetic questions, there's opportunity to truly see each other and to collaborate to resolve the issues rather than engaging in blame. Together, we'd uncover experiences that promote mutual understanding, empathy and appreciation. Through this process you'll gain insights, develop new ways of communicating, strengthen your connection and establish a more fulfilling and harmonious relationship.

Is telephone counseling possible with couples? Usually face to face couple counseling is preferable but in reality it is not always possible. Couples that I have worked with either have lived in different locations or like many couples with children, have no free time until the children are put to sleep. 9:00 PM on the east coast is only 6:00 PM on the Pacific coast where I am located. If both partners are motivated and feel comfortable on the phone, then telephone counseling can be very helpful. Couples counseling is often centered on improving communication which can easily be addressed through telephone counseling.

Relationships are work, and each person in a relationship brings their own unique set of baggage to the relationship. Some of it is good and some of it is challenging. Depending on the type of couple (married, dating, common law, heterosexual, homosexual) the goals can be quite different. In counselling we can explore what those goals are and what baggage, or different values are contributing to the challenges. Even though relationships are work, they should also be the greatest place for reward. Working through understanding the goals, expectations, values, emotions and areas of conflict in the relationship, the reward can be achieved.

Couples counselling focuses on developing strong communication skills, conflict resolution techniques, forgiveness, and effective dialogue. Many couples experience frustration at some point in their relationship where they feel they are not heard, valued or even loved any more. A toxic cycle of blaming, fighting and pulling away begins to form, creating distance and fatigue. For others an affair has shaken the very core of the safety and love they once felt in their relationship. It can be an agonizing and terrifying discovery for the partner who has been betrayed, and strong feelings of guilt, shame and a lack of understanding to how it even happened for the offending partner. Whether you are looking for a tune up to build back the excitement and...(view profile to read more)

Relationships are a crucial component of human health and happiness, and my passion involves helping people develop better connections with others as well as with themselves. By offering a setting that is based on trust, empathy, and collaboration, counselling can provide you with a safe and supportive space to explore your thoughts and emotions while creating a deeper, more authentic understanding of who you are, what you need, and the dynamics that you are navigating. Whether you attend alone or with a partner, I believe that there can be great value in processing relationships from the past or present as well as exploring the relationship that you're maintaining with yourself.

Do you look at your partner and wonder what happened to the sense of connection and intimacy that you once enjoyed? Have the stresses of life, career, and parenting gotten in the way of your relationship? Would you like to learn how to be heard and to hear what is really going on in your partner's heart of hearts? Couples counselling is an opportunity to re-connect and re-discover yourself and your partner. It is a safe forum to air difficult issues , develop skills for effective communication and enhance emotional and physical intimacy.

My approach to counselling typically involves emotional-focused therapy and the Gottman Method. When working with the folks in the relationship, often common issues include misunderstandings, unresolved conflict, criticism, and poor active listening. These problems create barriers to intimacy, communication, and connection. Through our work together, partners can enhance their relationship by learning to interact more openly and listen more effectively, empathetically, and assertively, as well as build trust and identify life goals and responsibilities. I also offer this type of therapy to folks with more than two intimidate partners in the relationship, non-monogamous relationships.

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is a model of couples counselling that has proven to repair broken relationships. Through EFT, couples gain the skills necessary to understand themselves and communicate their emotional needs which enhances intimacy and the relational bond. With EFT, I focus on creating a safe and secure environment for couples to explore their emotions and the underlying patterns that contribute to their relationship challenges. and fulfilling relationship, and my goal is to help my clients build the foundation necessary to achieve that.