Great Couples Counselling in Oak Bay, BC. Therapy to heal relationships.

Dr Sloat's couples counselling is based on the belief that we are all in this world to be happy, and in order to be happy we must have our needs met. When in relationships, people sometimes fail to get their needs met, and when this happens there is conflict and discord. Dr Sloat helps people to clarify and articulate their needs in relation to their partners, and thus facilitates harmony between them. She does not take sides, but instead focuses on helping partners to renegotiate and/or redefine their relationships such that they become viable on both sides. Also see - http://CouplesCounsellingVictoria.info

Couples counselling can offer benefits to partners in every stage of their relationship. Dating, engaged, or married, relationship counselling can help build, strengthen or repair your connection with one another. Working with Linda Duarte, Kathryn McInroy or Andee Dale at Gravitate Counselling Inc. can help you and your partner build a strong foundation, discuss important relationship topics, work through challenges, change existing patterns to something that works better for both of you, or adjust to a new season in your relationship. We can also help with co-parenting conversations and when couples decide to end their relationship.

Intimate relationships are the backdrop for intense personal learning and development! To have a better relationship with other, we often need to have a better relationship with self. I will help you and your partner be in relationship more authentically, with a stronger sense of self and differentiation that will ironically help you choose more closeness and intimacy. The relationship you desire is within reach.

It is common to hear, "the key to a better relationship is better communication." That's really not the main problem in most cases. People do know how to communicate - we're extremely verbal and expressive beings. More often than not, however, we don't like the message that's being communicated! When problems erupt in a relationship, it is more likely because there is little "relating" going on. I help couples identify their patterns, reinforce healthy communication skills, and most importantly, find ways to reconnect - to build relationship. When we are connected to another person, many issues and perceived problems cease to exist.

I'm a down-to-earth, client-centered counsellor that can bring new hope to you and new life to your relationships. I specialize in marriage and couples counselling. I'm trained in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy and Gottman Couples Therapy. With over ten years of experience, I have the tools to get your relationship back on track. I also offer intensive therapy for highly distressed couples. I'm here and ready to listen with warmth, kindness and compassion, without any judgement or criticism.

Each relationship faces unique hurdles and holds unique potential for growth. By skillfully tuning in to each other's inner worlds, learning new ways of being together and strategies for navigating conflict, we'll resolve what is hindering you. We’ll get creative and collaborate on new possibilities. Intimate relationships can bring out the deepest parts of ourselves and ignite personal transformation. Learning about how we relate is key to learning about ourselves and each other.

Are you and your partner stuck in unsolvable arguments? Does one of you tend to ‘demand’ more while the other shuts down and withdraws? Are you feeling less connected and actually adding stress to each other’s lives instead of reducing it? While frustrating, these are perfectly normal patterns of partnership and there is hope. I would be glad to help you untangle the knots, learning to team up together instead of entering battles over who is right. In doing so, we will unpack past traumas and patterns of behaviour, learning to better communicate and to be safely vulnerable in a way that stands your relationship on solid ground.

Couples can mean a lot of things: a romantic couple, two siblings, a parent/child, or even two friends struggling to connect. Love so often gets buried in untold stories, repressed needs, and personal insecurities. We all long to connect with each other, be accepted for who we are by those we love and yet often we don’t know how to give or receive love because we were never taught. I provide a safe space for partners to really hear and see each other, so they may learn to connect better. I may use concepts from internal family systems, emotionally-focused couples therapy or the Gottmans to help guide the process. Ready to improve your relationship? Let’s get started.

What are the most common couples' issues? If you are thinking "communication, conflict, sex, money, child rearing" you are correct. However, most therapists will go after the symptom on each side of the couple fence thinking that the way to effective change is by getting each party to "work" on their respective "issue". Many times the parties don’t agree but comply. Imagine if you could align the unconscious brains of a couple and stop the "working on your issues" part that has become so popular in therapy settings? Contact kevin@kevinflemingphd.com to learn how! Or call 877-606-6161. DR. FLEMING'S NEW RELATIONSHIP/COUPLES INTENSIVES. www.kevinflemingphd.com/marriage-couples-retreats.php

Being connected to our partners is a great thing – but this closeness can get so complicated! Intimate partners hold a lot of power to disappoint us. How do we get into sync, and get what we need to stay invested? It is hard to manage disappointment. We can sometimes give up too much, agree to things we don’t want – or we go the other way, and start bullying the other person. Both of those are strategies to preserve your connection. Is your strategy working for you? In counselling, I help you clarify what is going on for you, what you both want, and what you can possibly do to get there. I create a safe, easy space to check out your relationship – it may be more fun than you think!

Couples seek counselling for multiple reasons – from fighting and frustration to affairs or intimacy. Sometimes partners sense their relationship could just be better. Virtually all challenged relationships can be improved with better communications. Together we will explore and expand our communication skills, and practice them in a supportive and safe environment. Talking through the personal issues that each partner brings to the relationship can help couples build intimacy and grow closer.

Couples have been studied extensively by amongst others Gottman, and this information helps us to look at where you are, to get a sense of the gaps that exist, and to explore systematically what is possible. If you find that you are fighting all the time, have lost confidence, want to hurt your partner, and you are miserable and feeling alone, you need to step back and take a fresh look. Many couples waste precious time in unsolvable power struggles resulting in broken communication and automatic negative responses. Although you may feel hopeless and don't know what to do, couples do manage to change every day. This is often hard to do and takes time, but can also be magical and rewarding.

For a relationship to really thrive, both people in the relationship need to thrive. I focus on the personal growth of each individual in the couple as the foundation for a healthy and happy life together. By bringing out the unique gifts and qualities of each person, the relationship can have its best chances. Once both people are ready for the work of couples therapy, we can work on communication, intimacy, vulnerability, availability, balance, and showing up for each other.