Great Couples Counselling in Mill Bay, BC. Therapy to heal relationships.

Couples can get into cycles of negative interaction which lead to more and more pain and hurt. Through Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy couples learn to recognize their feelings and patterns of interaction, and to become more resilient and more empathic to themselves and their partner. With gentle challenge I will help you examine your own stuck places, and then to discover new ways of relating to your partner. Thus you will both shift to more positive patterns of interaction.

I work primarily from an emotion-focused therapy (EFT) approach, and I am also a Certified Relational Life Therapy (RLT) Practitioner. I will work with you to help you regain your emotional connection and feel close again. We all want to feel safe, supported, loved and valued in our intimate connections, as well at to know that our partner is available, responsive and engaged. Love is no longer a mystery, and research in couple's counselling has shown that we can repair and restore relationships even after painful disconnection and betrayal. Healing is entirely possible if both partners are willing to show up and commit to the process.

For a relationship to really thrive, both people in the relationship need to thrive. I focus on the personal growth of each individual in the couple as the foundation for a healthy and happy life together. By bringing out the unique gifts and qualities of each person, the relationship can have its best chances. Once both people are ready for the work of couples therapy, we can work on communication, intimacy, vulnerability, availability, balance, and showing up for each other.

I work with couples using Gottman Therapy, Emotionally Focused Therapy and Attachment Therapy. I will help you identify your maladaptive patterns of behaviour and improve your communication skills. There is no shame in getting some coaching in how we connect with each other and how we can better meet each others needs. I use a strengths based approach to help you see the positives and remember why you fell in love.

In couples counselling, I would use a combination of an EFT approach as well as the Gottman Method which validated extensively couples, and has been shown to be two of the most successful approaches to help manage couples problems. Using these evidence-based techniques, we would explore the attachment style of each partner, determine the patterns of behaviour between the two individuals and the negative cycle that they are in. We would evaluate cultural factors if there are any, and of course focus on the core issues that the couple presents with. As a marriage counsellor, I would also use EFT and Gottman techniques to identify keys interactions and cycles in the relationship.

Seeking counselling for your relationship can bring you more clarity about habitual patterns, about your individual self and about your direction to move forward. I provide a safe and confidential place for you and your partner to talk to each other, explore your concerns and to be understood by each other. Sometimes this can involve learning communication skills to help you navigate conversations, tools to manage strong emotions and setting goals.

Healing and growing in our sexuality & eroticism can help us understand ourselves and our partners in ways we may have never been privileged to before. It opens us to the appreciation of the full depth and breadth of human erotic expression. I work with individuals and couples. My approach is informed by training as an Erotic Blueprint Coach, somatic attachment and conscious kink. All forms of love, relationship structures, and sexual expression (from the most sensual "vanilla" to the raunchiest kink) welcome.

Couples can mean a lot of things: a romantic couple, two siblings, a parent/child, or even two friends struggling to connect. Love so often gets buried in untold stories, repressed needs, and personal insecurities. We all long to connect with each other, be accepted for who we are by those we love and yet often we don’t know how to give or receive love because we were never taught. I provide a safe space for partners to really hear and see each other, so they may learn to connect better. I may use concepts from internal family systems, emotionally-focused couples therapy or the Gottmans to help guide the process. Ready to improve your relationship? Let’s get started.

i have over 30 years dealing with couples issues and have facilitated many healing relationships. The focus of this work is on recognizing some of the communications that create distance and resentments because members of a couple resort to protecting themselves from fear or pain rather than opening to the truth of what they are experiencing. Once a couple recognizes the value of sharing what is really going on and exploring their differences the intimacy and love returns. I also facilitate an active listening process where each person really listens to the other person without interupting or contradicting. After a bit of practise many couples report that this promotes postive changes.

Thinking about getting married? Not the marriage type? Together learn more about yourself and the other you want to be with as we explore hopes, dreams, values, and beliefs. Master the art of negotiation and compromise in conflict, as well as the maintenance of healthy boundaries around those "big deal-breaker" issues. Couples of all types of configurations will learn about being an ally for each other as we work towards respect, love, collaborative problem solving and mutual understanding.

I specialize in working with couples who are challenged by their adult child's behaviours/mental health and/or addiction. Having an adult kiddo who isn't quite launched, or who struggles to "adult", can cause much embarrassment and shame and it is rarely talked about openly. The secret is that this scenario is far from uncommon. I bring my years of experience of both developing and running groups for "affected others" to my practice of supporting couples as they navigate how to support without enabling. I offer suggestions on how and when to set realistic boundaries. I aim to reduce the guilt couples feel about living a good life while their adult child is struggling.

It is common to hear, "the key to a better relationship is better communication." That's really not the main problem in most cases. People do know how to communicate - we're extremely verbal and expressive beings. More often than not, however, we don't like the message that's being communicated! When problems erupt in a relationship, it is more likely because there is little "relating" going on. I help couples identify their patterns, reinforce healthy communication skills, and most importantly, find ways to reconnect - to build relationship. When we are connected to another person, many issues and perceived problems cease to exist.

The first step with my approach to couples therapy is for us to establish rapport as you inform me of the problem that has brought you to therapy. I use a Choice Theory approach which includes defining more closely what each of you want for yourselves as individuals and the relationship as a whole. From there, we get to work on rebuilding trust in the relationship by enhancing communication skills so each of you feel listened to, heard, and respected. Then we can build on trust to establish the changes needed to restore the happiness that brought you together in the first place.