Great Couples Counselling in Lake Cowichan, BC. Therapy to heal relationships.

Relationship are complicated and can be difficult. Each partner has had an upbringing, and life experiences that have shaped their values and outlook on life. These may differ from the outlook and values of their partner. Each partner also has their own methods of coping: direct, avoiding, exploding, running, and retreating. As your counsellor, I will help you both explore how your similarities help and hinder your relationship. You will gain a better understanding of why you and your partner 'do what you do'. You will learn effective ways of communicating, problem solving, managing emotions and conflict; in an effort for you both to achieve respect and love.

What are the most common couples' issues? If you are thinking "communication, conflict, sex, money, child rearing" you are correct. However, most therapists will go after the symptom on each side of the couple fence thinking that the way to effective change is by getting each party to "work" on their respective "issue". Many times the parties don’t agree but comply. Imagine if you could align the unconscious brains of a couple and stop the "working on your issues" part that has become so popular in therapy settings? Contact kevin@kevinflemingphd.com to learn how! Or call 877-606-6161. DR. FLEMING'S NEW RELATIONSHIP/COUPLES INTENSIVES. www.kevinflemingphd.com/marriage-couples-retreats.php

I understand that navigating relationship issues can be incredibly challenging, affecting both your emotional health and the quality of your partnership. In our couples counselling sessions, we'll establish a safe environment for open dialogue, employing the Gottman Method to identify and address the root causes of your conflicts. This evidence-based approach focuses on improving communication, building empathy, and fostering mutual respect. While the journey to a healthier relationship may take time and commitment from both sides, there's genuine hope for renewal and happiness. Together, we can work towards a more harmonious and fulfilling relationship.

When couples begin therapy we often teach strategies such as fair fighting. Avoiding name calling, staying in the here and now (not bringing up the past), reducing the use of harsh language, speaking for one’s own experience (I statements), sticking to one problem at a time, and reducing the volume of their voices can be useful tools. As therapists, we try to get to know the couple’s individual communication styles, support them when working through conflicts of any size, help foster further intimacy, establish appropriate boundaries, navigate grief and loss, and provide a safe space to explore past issues and hurts. We offer Gottman trained counsellors who can support couples.

I specialize in working with couples who are challenged by their adult child's behaviours/mental health and/or addiction. Having an adult kiddo who isn't quite launched, or who struggles to "adult", can cause much embarrassment and shame and it is rarely talked about openly. The secret is that this scenario is far from uncommon. I bring my years of experience of both developing and running groups for "affected others" to my practice of supporting couples as they navigate how to support without enabling. I offer suggestions on how and when to set realistic boundaries. I aim to reduce the guilt couples feel about living a good life while their adult child is struggling.

Loving, successful relationships need to be carefully and skillfully nurtured in the following five areas: Emotional, Intellectual, Spiritual, Sexual, Financial. Couples who are ready to do ongoing work on their relationships are richly rewarded with a loving, meaningful and joyful life together. Committed relationships that have the possibility of morphing into long term relationships benefit greatly by being guided by the Gottman research on relationships as well as Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). Premarital Counselling prepares a couple for a new stage in their relationship by identifying potential areas of conflict and strength and developing tools to create a strong foundation.

Couples and families have many different configurations today and the methods we use foster connections between two people. The brains of human beings are naturally wired for relationship with others so when distance occurs between people, unhappiness and loneliness develops. We offer a facilitated method for couples to explore these feelings, learn about the deeper parts of themselves and each other, and repair the distance between them by using the right combination of compassion and directness. Conflict is not the problem -- conflict is normal and healthy when it is done with good communication tools and personal and interpersonal insight.

Couples counselling focuses on developing strong communication skills, conflict resolution techniques, forgiveness, and effective dialogue. Many couples experience frustration at some point in their relationship where they feel they are not heard, valued or even loved any more. A toxic cycle of blaming, fighting and pulling away begins to form, creating distance and fatigue. For others an affair has shaken the very core of the safety and love they once felt in their relationship. It can be an agonizing and terrifying discovery for the partner who has been betrayed, and strong feelings of guilt, shame and a lack of understanding to how it even happened for the offending partner. Whether you are looking for a tune up to build back the excitement and...(view profile to read more)

The first step with my approach to couples therapy is for us to establish rapport as you inform me of the problem that has brought you to therapy. I use a Choice Theory approach which includes defining more closely what each of you want for yourselves as individuals and the relationship as a whole. From there, we get to work on rebuilding trust in the relationship by enhancing communication skills so each of you feel listened to, heard, and respected. Then we can build on trust to establish the changes needed to restore the happiness that brought you together in the first place.

The relationship is the most important aspect of being human. If we are a couple or in a partnership, it is natural to have struggles and conflicts from time to time. Couples counseling can help deepen intimacy; improve communication and develop skills to resolve conflict in a more loving respectful way. In my practice with couples, I use the Gottman approach and Imago for couples as well as teach conflict/problem resolution skills as part of improving communication skills in the relationship.