Great Couples Counselling in Kelowna, BC. Therapy to heal relationships.

Relationship counselling is for individuals and couples who need to make some changes in their present situation. Distress can be caused by a breakdown in communication, too much conflict, difficulty acknowledging and expressing feelings, sexual problems, family patterns etc. Often our family of origin issues have been activated and we have raw spots in a relationship. As a counsellor I meet with couples individually for their first session (to explore history and listen to their experience of the problem) and then I bring them together. I help create a safe space to be emotionally honest and explore ways to overcome your patterns and find connection.

I work with couples using Gottman Therapy, Emotionally Focused Therapy and Attachment Therapy. I will help you identify your maladaptive patterns of behaviour and improve your communication skills. There is no shame in getting some coaching in how we connect with each other and how we can better meet each others needs. I use a strengths based approach to help you see the positives and remember why you fell in love.

The first step with my approach to couples therapy is for us to establish rapport as you inform me of the problem that has brought you to therapy. I use a Choice Theory approach which includes defining more closely what each of you want for yourselves as individuals and the relationship as a whole. From there, we get to work on rebuilding trust in the relationship by enhancing communication skills so each of you feel listened to, heard, and respected. Then we can build on trust to establish the changes needed to restore the happiness that brought you together in the first place.

Sol and Robin Menard are trained in using Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT). EFT is reasearch proven to have a 75-90% success rate with couples. It is one of two therapies for working with couples that is approved of by the American Psychological Association. There are many benefits to undergoing couples therapy using the EFt model. Benefits include: increased closeness/emotional intimacy, increased sexual intimacy, ability to communicate and express feelings and needs, increased safety, increased trust, more flexibility in the relationship, less fears of abandonment, and overall peace and security.

The challenges couples face, including difficulty communicating, conflict, trust issues, blended families and work rotations can precipitate significant relationship distress. Support in addressing these issues can have a signifiacant positive impact on overall relationship functioning. The fact that relationships are one of our primary coping mechanisms multiplies the potential distress when these are present as it impacts the very mechanisms we use to cope.

Are you and your partner stuck in unsolvable arguments? Does one of you tend to ‘demand’ more while the other shuts down and withdraws? Are you feeling less connected and actually adding stress to each other’s lives instead of reducing it? While frustrating, these are perfectly normal patterns of partnership and there is hope. I would be glad to help you untangle the knots, learning to team up together instead of entering battles over who is right. In doing so, we will unpack past traumas and patterns of behaviour, learning to better communicate and to be safely vulnerable in a way that stands your relationship on solid ground.

I offer couples therapy based on the Gottman method. The Gottman method is a personalized style of couples therapy based on the relationship work of John Gottman, PhD and Julie Schwartz Gottman, PhD. Their method aims to help couples improve communication, address conflict and other relationship problems, develop more understanding and awareness, and foster growth and intimacy. The Gottman method is establish on the belief that problems can either be resolved, or they are perpetual, which means they will be part of your lives forever, in some form or another.” Using this method, I will help you developing better communication styles and the skills to manage perpetual problems.

I work with communication between couples as well as the individual self talk that is sometimes a factor underlyubg discord. Recognizing Anger and Guilt as valuable emotions that can act as 'warning lights on the dashboard', I help uncover the deeper root feelings that are often more vulnerable but also more grounding and connecting. Using a Debriefing flow sheet based on Nonviolent Communication, a model authored by Marshall Rosenberg, I help couples to identify the things that are really important to them and reconnect with a sense of clarity, understanding and compassion for themselves and each other.

Healing and growing in our sexuality & eroticism can help us understand ourselves and our partners in ways we may have never been privileged to before. It opens us to the appreciation of the full depth and breadth of human erotic expression. I work with individuals and couples. My approach is informed by training as an Erotic Blueprint Coach, somatic attachment and conscious kink. All forms of love, relationship structures, and sexual expression (from the most sensual "vanilla" to the raunchiest kink) welcome.

For a couple, therapy can be a significant source of support, whether for couples who are just looking for guidance to go through a rough patch or to sift through a few miscommunications or for couples frustrated and about to give up after struggling with major conflicts, communicational issues, infidelity or sexual issues. You don't have to be on the brink of divorce to seek out support. No matter where your relationships stands, take it to the next level.

Our training includes the Gottman Model for couples therapy, which is well-grounded in research. Couples learn how to rebuild their friendship, communicate in a way that does not make the conflict worse, and build emotional intimacy. Relationships are like plants; if we forget to feed the plant every day, it starts to wilt and will eventually die. Indeed, with the demands of our daily lives, our relationships tend to take a back seat - at first, our relationships seem to endure; however, over time, the lack of priority starts to show. We will give you the tools and skills needed to feel satisfied in how you communicate with your spouse, and increase your commitment to one another.

Many couples struggle with communication and "feeling heard". Over time a once happy and vibrant relationship can begin to decay through hurt feelings, anger, lack of attention, feeling valued, infidelity, the strain of children, childhood issues, and much more. We focus to heal the wounds of the past and rebuild the love and trust within the relationship. We work to equip both partners with a voice and ability to effectively listen and hear one another. We will work together to establish individual boundaries within the relationship, while creating a stronger and healthier connection. Our goal is to equip each couple with the tools they require for success, independent of counselling

What are the most common couples' issues? If you are thinking "communication, conflict, sex, money, child rearing" you are correct. However, most therapists will go after the symptom on each side of the couple fence thinking that the way to effective change is by getting each party to "work" on their respective "issue". Many times the parties don’t agree but comply. Imagine if you could align the unconscious brains of a couple and stop the "working on your issues" part that has become so popular in therapy settings? Contact kevin@kevinflemingphd.com to learn how! Or call 877-606-6161. DR. FLEMING'S NEW RELATIONSHIP/COUPLES INTENSIVES. www.kevinflemingphd.com/marriage-couples-retreats.php