Great Couples Counselling in Kelowna, BC. Therapy to heal relationships.

Have you begun to wonder if there is even hope for your relationship at all? Have your questioned if it's even worth it? Or long forgotten what you and your partner ever saw in each other? You are not alone! And I can assure you, there IS hope! Relationships are like gardens...they never grow well on their own. If yours is hurting, there IS a reason. And I can not only help you find it, I can help you to heal and restore what you both have lost. You have struggled long enough. Let me help you find each other again.

Many couples struggle with communication and "feeling heard". Over time a once happy and vibrant relationship can begin to decay through hurt feelings, anger, lack of attention, feeling valued, infidelity, the strain of children, childhood issues, and much more. We focus to heal the wounds of the past and rebuild the love and trust within the relationship. We work to equip both partners with a voice and ability to effectively listen and hear one another. We will work together to establish individual boundaries within the relationship, while creating a stronger and healthier connection. Our goal is to equip each couple with the tools they require for success, independent of counselling

I offer couples therapy based on the Gottman method. The Gottman method is a personalized style of couples therapy based on the relationship work of John Gottman, PhD and Julie Schwartz Gottman, PhD. Their method aims to help couples improve communication, address conflict and other relationship problems, develop more understanding and awareness, and foster growth and intimacy. The Gottman method is establish on the belief that problems can either be resolved, or they are perpetual, which means they will be part of your lives forever, in some form or another.” Using this method, I will help you developing better communication styles and the skills to manage perpetual problems.

Sol and Robin Menard are trained in using Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT). EFT is reasearch proven to have a 75-90% success rate with couples. It is one of two therapies for working with couples that is approved of by the American Psychological Association. There are many benefits to undergoing couples therapy using the EFt model. Benefits include: increased closeness/emotional intimacy, increased sexual intimacy, ability to communicate and express feelings and needs, increased safety, increased trust, more flexibility in the relationship, less fears of abandonment, and overall peace and security.

I work with communication between couples as well as the individual self talk that is sometimes a factor underlyubg discord. Recognizing Anger and Guilt as valuable emotions that can act as 'warning lights on the dashboard', I help uncover the deeper root feelings that are often more vulnerable but also more grounding and connecting. Using a Debriefing flow sheet based on Nonviolent Communication, a model authored by Marshall Rosenberg, I help couples to identify the things that are really important to them and reconnect with a sense of clarity, understanding and compassion for themselves and each other.

Couples can benefit from therapy regardless of their marital status. Couples work can involve enhancing communication, exploring intimacy issues, and working towards creating an open, safe, and trusting relationship. Couples therapy can include sessions to address premarital issues, parenting issues, or help a couple to explore a separation. Couples therapy can also help a couple to end a relationship and begin the healing process.

The first step with my approach to couples therapy is for us to establish rapport as you inform me of the problem that has brought you to therapy. I use a Choice Theory approach which includes defining more closely what each of you want for yourselves as individuals and the relationship as a whole. From there, we get to work on rebuilding trust in the relationship by enhancing communication skills so each of you feel listened to, heard, and respected. Then we can build on trust to establish the changes needed to restore the happiness that brought you together in the first place.

I understand that navigating relationship issues can be incredibly challenging, affecting both your emotional health and the quality of your partnership. In our couples counselling sessions, we'll establish a safe environment for open dialogue, employing the Gottman Method to identify and address the root causes of your conflicts. This evidence-based approach focuses on improving communication, building empathy, and fostering mutual respect. While the journey to a healthier relationship may take time and commitment from both sides, there's genuine hope for renewal and happiness. Together, we can work towards a more harmonious and fulfilling relationship.

For a couple, therapy can be a significant source of support, whether for couples who are just looking for guidance to go through a rough patch or to sift through a few miscommunications or for couples frustrated and about to give up after struggling with major conflicts, communicational issues, infidelity or sexual issues. You don't have to be on the brink of divorce to seek out support. No matter where your relationships stands, take it to the next level.

If you're looking to improve your relationship, we'd work together to create a supportive environment for discussion, allowing each of you to share your perspective and experience. With important conversations and empathetic questions, there's opportunity to truly see each other and to collaborate to resolve the issues rather than engaging in blame. Together, we'd uncover experiences that promote mutual understanding, empathy and appreciation. Through this process you'll gain insights, develop new ways of communicating, strengthen your connection and establish a more fulfilling and harmonious relationship.

Relationship counselling is for individuals and couples who need to make some changes in their present situation. Distress can be caused by a breakdown in communication, too much conflict, difficulty acknowledging and expressing feelings, sexual problems, family patterns etc. Often our family of origin issues have been activated and we have raw spots in a relationship. As a counsellor I meet with couples individually for their first session (to explore history and listen to their experience of the problem) and then I bring them together. I help create a safe space to be emotionally honest and explore ways to overcome your patterns and find connection.

Are you and your partner stuck in unsolvable arguments? Does one of you tend to ‘demand’ more while the other shuts down and withdraws? Are you feeling less connected and actually adding stress to each other’s lives instead of reducing it? While frustrating, these are perfectly normal patterns of partnership and there is hope. I would be glad to help you untangle the knots, learning to team up together instead of entering battles over who is right. In doing so, we will unpack past traumas and patterns of behaviour, learning to better communicate and to be safely vulnerable in a way that stands your relationship on solid ground.

What are the most common couples' issues? If you are thinking "communication, conflict, sex, money, child rearing" you are correct. However, most therapists will go after the symptom on each side of the couple fence thinking that the way to effective change is by getting each party to "work" on their respective "issue". Many times the parties don’t agree but comply. Imagine if you could align the unconscious brains of a couple and stop the "working on your issues" part that has become so popular in therapy settings? Contact kevin@kevinflemingphd.com to learn how! Or call 877-606-6161. DR. FLEMING'S NEW RELATIONSHIP/COUPLES INTENSIVES. www.kevinflemingphd.com/marriage-couples-retreats.php

The challenges couples face, including difficulty communicating, conflict, trust issues, blended families and work rotations can precipitate significant relationship distress. Support in addressing these issues can have a signifiacant positive impact on overall relationship functioning. The fact that relationships are one of our primary coping mechanisms multiplies the potential distress when these are present as it impacts the very mechanisms we use to cope.

Do you find yourself caught in a negative cycle of interactions with your partner? Are you wanting to reconnect and have more intimacy and joy? Together we can map out your patterns and make the negative cycle the enemy, not the other person. Life is tough enough--our relationships should be our refuge and the place we feel supported and inspired by one another. We can focus on communication, understanding for one another, emotion regulation, boundaries, or how to reconnect meaningfully as a couple.

Relationships are hard at times. Feeling disconnected, seemingly going around in circles, unsure of how to break the cycle can be so distressing, especially when it is with someone you care deeply for. Using the Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) model, I support couples to make sense of where and why they are feeling stuck, the safety to courageously express their needs and emotions, and a renewed feeling of connection to grow together in a more fulfilling way.

We are proud to offer couples/relationship counselling as we all know that relationships can be both incredibly rewarding and tremendously difficult all at the same time. We believe that trust and safety create a solid foundation from which a relationship can grow. Through both the Gottman method and Emotionally-Focused Couples Therapy we are confident that we can support the growth of healthy, secure attachments characterized by healthy attunement and respect.

I have advanced training in the Gottman method of couple counselling. This is the most highly researched therapy for relationships. It uses the sound relationship house model: We build on emotional connection, showing fondness and admiration, and turning towards. This creates a positivity in the relationship. Upon this foundation, we can work on conflict management and communication skills.

Couples counselling focuses on developing strong communication skills, conflict resolution techniques, forgiveness, and effective dialogue. Many couples experience frustration at some point in their relationship where they feel they are not heard, valued or even loved any more. A toxic cycle of blaming, fighting and pulling away begins to form, creating distance and fatigue. For others an affair has shaken the very core of the safety and love they once felt in their relationship. It can be an agonizing and terrifying discovery for the partner who has been betrayed, and strong feelings of guilt, shame and a lack of understanding to how it even happened for the offending partner. Whether you are looking for a tune up to build back the excitement and...(view profile to read more)

As a married individual in a long-term relationship, I know how challenging it can be! However your partner is worth the work. By learning how to identify and share your feelings with one another, it can strengthen your relationship and create a bond that will last the toughest of times. Even if it seems your relationship is too far gone to save, if both partners commit to change there can be a path forward to flourishing!

Couples counselling focuses on enhancing communication, understanding, and connection between partners. My approach is tailored to each couple's unique dynamics, addressing intimacy, conflict resolution, communication and emotional support. I provide a safe and non-judgmental space for both partners to express their needs and concerns, facilitating more profound empathy and collaboration. By working together, couples can strengthen their bond, develop healthier patterns of interaction, and create a more fulfilling relationship.

Our training includes the Gottman Model for couples therapy, which is well-grounded in research. Couples learn how to rebuild their friendship, communicate in a way that does not make the conflict worse, and build emotional intimacy. Relationships are like plants; if we forget to feed the plant every day, it starts to wilt and will eventually die. Indeed, with the demands of our daily lives, our relationships tend to take a back seat - at first, our relationships seem to endure; however, over time, the lack of priority starts to show. We will give you the tools and skills needed to feel satisfied in how you communicate with your spouse, and increase your commitment to one another.