Anger Management and Counselling in Sooke, BC.

Anger is not an abnormal reaction, but did you know that it is most often not your first response? In other words, it's what is generated when your first emotional reaction to something or someone isn't identified and dealt with. I help people to understand their primary emotions and then find ways to express them with greater clarity and healthier actions. We'll also explore when anger is appropriate and how you can use that energy to confront whatever you see as the cause in a safer, more effective way. You will never look at anger the same way again.

Anger is a normal human emotion. We all feel angry from time to time. Anger often hides other feelings, such as sadness, grief, invalidation, worry, or injustice. Some people cope with their anger by channeling it into art, writing, activism, or some kind of motivating purpose, while others can use violence, aggression, substances, distancing, or other less adaptive ways of coping. Counselling can help you to get to know your anger and what is hiding underneath it. Using cognitive, somatic, self-focused, and narrative therapies, I help you to understand your anger and find better ways of coping with whatever lies beneath.

Anger, like other emotions, helps us to respond to our experiences and to meet our needs. However, we can get into trouble in our relationships and with the law if we express our anger inappropriately. Anger may be used to control others by frightening them. Anger can be destructive and can make us physically unwell. In anger management counseling we will try to identify the triggers to your anger and I will coach you in methods of appropriate anger release. To understand the pattern of your anger and where your anger comes from we will look at the story of your life from your earliest memory. With better control of your reactions when you are upset you will be much happier and healthier.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of anger management in a very humane yet fresh perspective. You see, anger is a normal emotion but it is the valence (intensity) as well as the coupling choice of what one does with this that is the problem. Telling someone to "not" do it or modifying behavior with a trite psychological plan that only breeds a compliant response is not the way to change anger. Brainwave optimization is a new cutting edge technology that allows one to rewire circuitry responsible for reactivity driving the anger. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

Anger is our strong feeling of annoyance or displeasure when something doesn’t go our way. The reasons we get angry can be perfectly plain – or they can be a mystery. Anger can also become a habit, a stance we hold. Life puts us in difficult situations – anger may be an understandable response to your situation. But you can develop some choices about how you respond. I work with people to identify what sets them off, and to find ways to redirect situations and feelings. Do you turn your anger outwards or inwards? We consider the factors involved (relationship, family issues, life stress, job, habits, etc.), and figure out what needs to change to let you live with more satisfaction.

Have you found that anger has started to ruin relationships, interfere with your job, and negatively impact your life? Anger has a way of spreading and infecting day-to-day interactions. If this sounds familiar, you're not alone. I work with many people who are controlled by their anger. Typically, anger is influenced by other underlying causes. In counselling, we will work together to learn new coping mechanisms to limit anger while also looking at what is causing anger. If you want to take the next step, reach out to me, and we can begin to change how you react to anger.

I will guide you to make that first step and help you to move beyond your current experience of anger using relevant therapeutic insights and my own experience. If your anger is hurting those close to you or gets you in trouble often, you have to get ahead of your anger. You need to identify what makes you angry, your challenging situations, your thinking and feeling before you explode, and to create a plan to respond appropriately. Managing your anger is an important first step, moving beyond your anger to forge positive outcomes will greatly improve your life. It may take time and perseverance, but fundamental change is possible.

Anger can be a powerful and sometimes overwhelming emotion, but with the right tools, it can be transformed into a source of insight and positive change. In anger management counseling, clients learn to identify triggers, understand the root causes of their anger, and develop healthy ways to express and manage it. My approach focuses on building emotional awareness, enhancing communication skills, and fostering self-control, enabling clients to navigate challenges more calmly and create healthier, more fulfilling relationships.

I am honoured that you are interested in my services and I would like to tell you a little bit about myself. I have been described as slightly non-conventional in the counselling world, which suits me perfectly, and also tends to suit youth who are trying to stand up to the force of the problems in their life. I am very comfortable working with this population, and I feel fortunate that I can connect with teens the way I do, conventionally or in a way that makes sense to them.

My approach is to use a step-by-step process that follows an evidence based approach: goal setting; self awareness; cognitive reframing; behavioural modification; review of progress. Fundamental to the work is a good therapeutic relationship. That is, we have the collaboration and trust to combine your knowledge of yourself and your situation and my skills and knowledge of the clinical issues to make change happen.

When anger gets the best of us, we can say and/or do things that we later wish we could change or take back. Anger is an instinctive universal emotion, one in which we all have, but not all expressions of anger have to be hurt. In fact, anger works as a great informant and can motivate us to take action to improve our own lives and the lives of people that we care about.

Anger can often feel so overwhelming that it causes you to do things you later regret. Not knowing what came over you, there are many unanswered questions: why do I keep doing this? why can't I stop myself? Sometimes, alcohol, substances, or other addictive behaviours lead to this anger, making it more difficult to control. As an addiction counsellor, I help clients overcome addictions leading to anger issues so they can regain a sense of control, rebuild relationships, and gain clarity about how to move forward. If you are unsure where to start, send me a message and I can help. If I'm not the right fit, I can connect you to the right support so you can start gaining back control, today.

Anger management counseling can help to identify stressors and learn the steps to stay calm in the face of anger. The goal is to handle tense situations in more constructive and positive ways by reducing the emotional and physical arousal that anger can cause. It will provide the tools to take back your life and resolve the triggers that result in unplanned anger reactions.

It sucks to be angry and loose control of our emotions. Anger can have a devastating impact on the people we love the most. I will support you in addressing the emotions, trauma and pain underneath anger and learn to identify your triggers and patterns. I will teach you tools to address your stress and help you learn to better deal with your emotions. Learning to communicate our needs in a way that will be received is also a part of how I address anger issues.

Dr. Sloat's approach to Anger Management is twofold. She provides tools and strategies for use when you are actually in the throes of anger. And, she helps you look at the big picture as well. The best way to manage your anger is to have nothing to be angry about. Dr. Sloat's therapeutic methods help you get at the source of your anger so that you can better manage it.

We are all born with a full set of emotions, with anger being just one of many (happy, sad, fear etc.etc.). There is nothing inherently wrong with anger. In fact it is a very useful barometer of what is not good for us. However, constant, raging anger is a sign post that something is out of balance and needs our attention. There is also a big difference between feeling anger and committing destructive acts. The work that you and I do for anger issues will begin with honouring your feelings. We will then explore what is underneath the chronic feelings of anger. You will discover more life-enhancing ways to take your space and express your self. You will feel more free.

The more you feel out of control in your life, the more likely you are to feel angry. Unless you can identify and share your sense of powerlessness. This often takes a retraining of values but leads to personal empowerment once you learn that you can have "power with" rather than "power over" another person. There are a number of techniques to promote postiive changes fairly quickly including the recognition of one's negative self-talk and replacing it with self-soothing inside,