Anger Management and Counselling in Oak Bay, BC.

Anger is a way many of us protect ourselves from being overwhelmed by scary emotions like sadness, loneliness, insecurity, or grief. While anger is justified in certain contexts, it begins to be a problem if we’re angry all the time and keep having uncontrolled outbursts. When dealing with anger, I take an Internal Family Systems approach: I believe it’s important to listen to the part of you that’s angry. What is it protecting you from? What does it need? Entering into a better relationship with the angry part of you will help you to have better relationships with others. Ready to explore your anger with compassion and curiosity? Let’s get started.

Anger is ultimately a healthy emotion that can be an adaptive and appropriate response to our circumstances. It can let us know what we need and be a helpful guide in taking positive and proactive actions. Yet, in some cases it can control and motivate us to take actions we regret or that lead to negative consequences. Developing an empowering relationship with anger is a skill that can be learned. In order to do so, our individual contexts need to be considered—our personalities, values, life histories, and underlying psychologies. There is no one size fits all approach. Anger can fulfill different functions in each of our lives.

Have you found that anger has started to ruin relationships, interfere with your job, and negatively impact your life? Anger has a way of spreading and infecting day-to-day interactions. If this sounds familiar, you're not alone. I work with many people who are controlled by their anger. Typically, anger is influenced by other underlying causes. In counselling, we will work together to learn new coping mechanisms to limit anger while also looking at what is causing anger. If you want to take the next step, reach out to me, and we can begin to change how you react to anger.

Unmanaged anger can interfere with your relationships, your self esteem, and your job. With gentle support and challenge I will help you explore the root of your anger, the belief systems that support your behaviours, and how you can recognize your anger before it becomes translated into acting out. Using self regulation skills, self awareness, and mindfulness skills, you will learn that you have choices in how you recognize and express your feelings. Anger can be a healthy emotion, but can also be destructive when it takes over.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of anger management in a very humane yet fresh perspective. You see, anger is a normal emotion but it is the valence (intensity) as well as the coupling choice of what one does with this that is the problem. Telling someone to "not" do it or modifying behavior with a trite psychological plan that only breeds a compliant response is not the way to change anger. Brainwave optimization is a new cutting edge technology that allows one to rewire circuitry responsible for reactivity driving the anger. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

I create a safe and nonjudgmental space to explore the roots of anger while developing healthier ways to express and manage it. Together, we identify triggers, recognize underlying emotions or unmet needs, and challenge unhelpful cognitions that may be fueling reactive responses. I teach skills in emotional regulation, distress tolerance, impulse control, and interpersonal communication to facilitate better functioning in life and less self sabotaging behaviors. I also support clients in exploring deeper themes and unresolved issues to better understand their anger, and encourage value based action to give back some control.

We are all born with a full set of emotions, with anger being just one of many (happy, sad, fear etc.etc.). There is nothing inherently wrong with anger. In fact it is a very useful barometer of what is not good for us. However, constant, raging anger is a sign post that something is out of balance and needs our attention. There is also a big difference between feeling anger and committing destructive acts. The work that you and I do for anger issues will begin with honouring your feelings. We will then explore what is underneath the chronic feelings of anger. You will discover more life-enhancing ways to take your space and express your self. You will feel more free.

I am honoured that you are interested in my services and I would like to tell you a little bit about myself. I have been described as slightly non-conventional in the counselling world, which suits me perfectly, and also tends to suit youth who are trying to stand up to the force of the problems in their life. I am very comfortable working with this population, and I feel fortunate that I can connect with teens the way I do, conventionally or in a way that makes sense to them.

Our anger can be a sentry, a protector and a wise indicator that our boundaries have been transgressed or that something vitally important to us is threatened. It can also be a raging tyrant, a short fuse, a simmering internalisation that off-gases through passive aggression, or a childish tantrum. Becoming intimate with our anger is synonymous with becoming intimidate with our power. In anger therapy, we will work to understand the unique way your anger process happens through somatic awareness, mindfulness and emotional intimacy. We will look at your history with anger, your family lineage, and you will learn tools to channel this fire in ways that support rather than hinder your life.

When anger gets the best of us, we can say and/or do things that we later wish we could change or take back. Anger is an instinctive universal emotion, one in which we all have, but not all expressions of anger have to be hurt. In fact, anger works as a great informant and can motivate us to take action to improve our own lives and the lives of people that we care about.

Anger is our strong feeling of annoyance or displeasure when something doesn’t go our way. The reasons we get angry can be perfectly plain – or they can be a mystery. Anger can also become a habit, a stance we hold. Life puts us in difficult situations – anger may be an understandable response to your situation. But you can develop some choices about how you respond. I work with people to identify what sets them off, and to find ways to redirect situations and feelings. Do you turn your anger outwards or inwards? We consider the factors involved (relationship, family issues, life stress, job, habits, etc.), and figure out what needs to change to let you live with more satisfaction.

Anger is not an abnormal reaction, but did you know that it is most often not your first response? In other words, it's what is generated when your first emotional reaction to something or someone isn't identified and dealt with. I help people to understand their primary emotions and then find ways to express them with greater clarity and healthier actions. We'll also explore when anger is appropriate and how you can use that energy to confront whatever you see as the cause in a safer, more effective way. You will never look at anger the same way again.

Anger management counseling can help to identify stressors and learn the steps to stay calm in the face of anger. The goal is to handle tense situations in more constructive and positive ways by reducing the emotional and physical arousal that anger can cause. It will provide the tools to take back your life and resolve the triggers that result in unplanned anger reactions.

Anger is a very misunderstood emotion. The feeling of anger can tell us important things about ourselves, about the situations we are facing, and about the people with whom we are in relationship. I will help you better understand your feelings of anger, to manage your response to them, and to behave in constructive ways to change situations that continue to be destructive.

Anger often stems from feeling so many emotions all at once. You lose a sense of control. You go from 0 to 100 in a blink of an eye. By getting angry you’re attempting to regain control that’s presumed lost. But instead, you’re full of guilt and shame. Feeling angry and reacting in anger, is simply exhausting. I’ll help you learn how to regain control, in a healthy way.

If you're struggling with anger management, our team of Registered Clinical Counsellors can help! Your counsellor can help you identify your triggers, understand what is happening in your anger cycle, learn to slow down your reactivity, improve your communication skills, develop strategies you can use when you are feeling angry, and how you might repair relationships that have been damaged as a result of anger outbursts. Even if you avoid anger outbursts, instead keeping the anger bottled up inside you, anger management counselling with Gravitate Counselling Inc. can help.

The more you feel out of control in your life, the more likely you are to feel angry. Unless you can identify and share your sense of powerlessness. This often takes a retraining of values but leads to personal empowerment once you learn that you can have "power with" rather than "power over" another person. There are a number of techniques to promote postiive changes fairly quickly including the recognition of one's negative self-talk and replacing it with self-soothing inside,

Isn't it interesting how anger can motivate us and make us stuck all at the same time? Study the anatomy of anger in order to learn how to control it and use it in healthy ways. Anger is not "bad"; it is an essential emotion. Learn how to choose what to do with your anger in order to let it do it's job and then be let go. Explore what also masquerades as anger!

If things just never seem to be going your way, it can be easy to get frustrated. Discover how to make different decisions and manage the things that cause such feelings in your life. Counselling can help you with changing the root of your anger rather than just applying coping skills for that anger. Contact me today for a free initial consultation. Heal, Grow, Thrive! www.soulsilhouettehealing.com

Anger, like other emotions, helps us to respond to our experiences and to meet our needs. However, we can get into trouble in our relationships and with the law if we express our anger inappropriately. Anger may be used to control others by frightening them. Anger can be destructive and can make us physically unwell. In anger management counseling we will try to identify the triggers to your anger and I will coach you in methods of appropriate anger release. To understand the pattern of your anger and where your anger comes from we will look at the story of your life from your earliest memory. With better control of your reactions when you are upset you will be much happier and healthier.

My approach is to use a step-by-step process that follows an evidence based approach: goal setting; self awareness; cognitive reframing; behavioural modification; review of progress. Fundamental to the work is a good therapeutic relationship. That is, we have the collaboration and trust to combine your knowledge of yourself and your situation and my skills and knowledge of the clinical issues to make change happen.

Anger is a normal, natural response to perceived threats. Learning to manage our anger can be difficult at times. You will want to seek help with your anger if it seems uncontrollable, causes hurt or regret, or is impacting your relationships. Working together, we can collaboratively explore what your anger looks like, what triggers you and the signs that your anger is building. We can learn how to work with your frustration and anger in healthy ways.

Anger is a natural human response and perhaps the most misunderstood emotion. It can both serve and protect us - but left unchecked, it can lead to serious problems – damaging relationships, jeopardizing careers, and leaving us feeling out of control. Many of us were never taught what to do with anger, aside from bottling it up or acting it out. But there is another way. In my work, I help people to develop insight into the roots of their relationship with anger, and learn skills to authentically express it. Anger is often compared with fire, and as the saying goes, ‘fire is a good servant but a bad master.’ Together, we can work toward getting the fire under control.

Anger can feel like a sudden and overwhelming force within us or it can be experienced as a persistent, festering feeling that never seems to go away. Often anger is an indication of unmet needs that can stem from as far back as early childhood. I provide a space to explore these hidden emotions and needs within and offer practical tools and strategies for managing anger productively.

Dr. Sloat's approach to Anger Management is twofold. She provides tools and strategies for use when you are actually in the throes of anger. And, she helps you look at the big picture as well. The best way to manage your anger is to have nothing to be angry about. Dr. Sloat's therapeutic methods help you get at the source of your anger so that you can better manage it.