Anger Management and Counselling in North Vancouver, BC.

Anger can arise from a number of events in one's life. For some it is comes about from frustration and a lack of coping strategies, for others it is the culmination of many (sometimes divergent and seemingly unrelated) events, or it may be in reaction to changing life circumstances (e.g. loss of employment). I work first to help my clients understand the source of their angry behaviours, feelings, and thoughts, and then work with them to develop more effective ways of expressing their needs and dealing with other potential triggers. Leaving them feel a greater sense of control and strength.

Contrary to popular belief, anger is a normal and healthy emotion. The challenge is how anger is expressed. Often we feel angry for no apparent reason or our anger is more than the situation warrants - or we do things in anger that are hurtful to ourselves or others. These are things that need to be looked at in counselling. What are the triggers? What other emotions are beneath the anger? How can we control our anger? What are healthy ways of expressing anger? in counselling you will be given the tools to understand and manage these feelings.

Individuals struggling to manage anger can be exhausting and overwhelming; often there is a significant negative effect on others in their life. We will work to uncover where the intense anger is originating from and heal. We will also wok to develop new skills and tools to manage emotional situations in a more positive an effective way. It is also important to work to heal the damage to loved ones whom have been affected.

As a couples and marriage counsellor, I help partners slow down the negative dance that takes over their relationship. Anger in relationship is often like a suit of armor meant to keep the person safe from feeling underlying pain. I help couples create the safety they need to begin to investigate the pain that lies beneath the shield of anger. The healing is transformative and couples find connections with themselves and each other that restores safety and confidence and brings love back.

When anger gets the best of us, we can say and/or do things that we later wish we could change or take back. Anger is an instinctive universal emotion, one in which we all have, but not all expressions of anger have to be hurt. In fact, anger works as a great informant and can motivate us to take action to improve our own lives and the lives of people that we care about.

A response to life's events falls upon a continuum from neutral to highly-reactive. At times anger, Gandhi called it "Righteous Indignation," is necessary to respond to injustices or inappropriate behaviours. However, uncontrolled, inappropriate anger is destructive to one's self and others. Mindfulness and Metta (Loving Kindness) meditations are excellent tools to deal with anger. Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) also called Tapping, along with skillful use of affirmations can help to cool the fires of anger. The benefits of anger management lead to a regulating of emotions and thus a gaining of peace of mind, positive relationships, career and family security.

Real Solutions to Real Challenges. Common Sense Techniques. Anger can be helpful or it can be destructive. Anger unchecked and not understood can consume a persons attention and energy and keep them stuck. Anger can be hepful in that it is telling us that something is wrong. We may feel unfairly treated, overpowered, and hurt. As a result individuals may become defensive, withdrwan/silent, or even aggresive if they sense injustice and then go the attack. Quite often if the intensity of the anger response seems out of proportion to the current incident then this is most likely due to a cumulative history that comes rushing in to the present and hence the over reaction.

“Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.” Ambrose Bierce Anger is often an intense emotional response that can negatively affect people’s lives. Many people struggle to manage and express their anger effectively due to often intense and overwhelming feelings. Families, work, friendships and one’s personal well-being can be destroyed unintentionally along the way. Although we cannot control anger provoking situations, we can learn step by step techniques for successfully and efficiently managing them. Through counselling we will work to access the issues provoking anger and outbursts, and develop tools to identify and effectively manage emotional triggers. When needed, we will also work with families and...(view profile to read more)

Anger is ultimately a healthy emotion that can be an adaptive and appropriate response to our circumstances. It can let us know what we need and be a helpful guide in taking positive and proactive actions. Yet, in some cases it can control and motivate us to take actions we regret or that lead to negative consequences. Developing an empowering relationship with anger is a skill that can be learned. In order to do so, our individual contexts need to be considered—our personalities, values, life histories, and underlying psychologies. There is no one size fits all approach. Anger can fulfill different functions in each of our lives.

If a client comes to me with anger management, I would approach them with curiosity and examine the root cause of the anger. Depending on the source of the anger, I would determine what type of approach to use. For example if the anger was caused by a specific event, if the client agrees, we would explore that specific event in detail, as well as practical strategies to manage the existing anger. Approaches I use are Alderian therapy or EFT for treatment.