Anger Management and Counselling in New Westminster, BC.

What has anger accomplished for you? Anger can be a devastating emotion, that if not managed can cause problems in your life. By working with me, we can work together to help manage and better understand why you get angry. I can help you understand that anger is not the first emotion that we feel, but it is usually the first emotion people see. I can help you better understand and communicate your underlying feelings that lead to anger. It is important what you do with anger that counts. It is important to understand that you can use your anger in a constructive and positive manner to help you get what you want in your life. Call now to see how I can help you create a more fulfilling life.

“Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.” Ambrose Bierce Anger is often an intense emotional response that can negatively affect people’s lives. Many people struggle to manage and express their anger effectively due to often intense and overwhelming feelings. Families, work, friendships and one’s personal well-being can be destroyed unintentionally along the way. Although we cannot control anger provoking situations, we can learn step by step techniques for successfully and efficiently managing them. Through counselling we will work to access the issues provoking anger and outbursts, and develop tools to identify and effectively manage emotional triggers. When needed, we will also work with families and...(view profile to read more)

If a client comes to me with anger management, I would approach them with curiosity and examine the root cause of the anger. Depending on the source of the anger, I would determine what type of approach to use. For example if the anger was caused by a specific event, if the client agrees, we would explore that specific event in detail, as well as practical strategies to manage the existing anger. Approaches I use are Alderian therapy or EFT for treatment.

Our anger can be a sentry, a protector and a wise indicator that our boundaries have been transgressed or that something vitally important to us is threatened. It can also be a raging tyrant, a short fuse, a simmering internalisation that off-gases through passive aggression, or a childish tantrum. Becoming intimate with our anger is synonymous with becoming intimidate with our power. In anger therapy, we will work to understand the unique way your anger process happens through somatic awareness, mindfulness and emotional intimacy. We will look at your history with anger, your family lineage, and you will learn tools to channel this fire in ways that support rather than hinder your life.

Personally, I struggle with the term "anger management". Anger is an important emotion that needs to be viewed through a lens of acceptance not barred to a back room. Until a person understands the myriad of emotions that lie under the surface of 'anger', they are often controlled by these emotions, One of the purposes of anger is to alert the emotional person to the fact that something is wrong (much like pain signals the body when something is wrong). People do need to "control" their behaviour - especially when feelings are strong. i believe that people can learn to manage their life better once they understand what is affecting them AND what they want to accomplish by their action.

A response to life's events falls upon a continuum from neutral to highly-reactive. At times anger, Gandhi called it "Righteous Indignation," is necessary to respond to injustices or inappropriate behaviours. However, uncontrolled, inappropriate anger is destructive to one's self and others. Mindfulness and Metta (Loving Kindness) meditations are excellent tools to deal with anger. Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) also called Tapping, along with skillful use of affirmations can help to cool the fires of anger. The benefits of anger management lead to a regulating of emotions and thus a gaining of peace of mind, positive relationships, career and family security.

I worked for eight years co-facilitating men's mandated domestic violence groups. I am very experienced at helping both men and women deal with a reactionary way of expressing their anger along with the opposite men and women that don't express their anger in healthy and or direct way but instead stuff it down. I have helped many men and women learn how to think and "do" their anger differently. The benefit to learning anger management is happy relationships.

I focus on what the underlying cause of your anger is. I can help you identify the emotions that you may not have expressed. You can choose how to express your anger and learn how to more effectively communicate your feelings. Understanding what your triggers are helps you manage the anger so that you can feel more in control and more confident about yourself.

I will go over with clients situations that result in them being angry, triggers of their anger and what their thoughts are when they are angry. We will go over how we think affects how we feel and how we feel affects how we behave. We will go over ways to help clients regulate their emotions better when they are angry. Strategies can include ways to manage impulse control, breathing exercises, and relaxation exercises overall.

Anger can be a reaction to a range of experiences, from past traumas to present-day stressors, and EMDR can help to desensitize and reprocess these experiences, reducing the intensity of the emotional response. Through the use of bilateral stimulation, such as eye movements or tapping, EMDR can help to process the distressing memories and emotions, leading to increased emotional regulation and a greater sense of control over one's emotional response. By addressing the underlying emotional triggers, EMDR can help to alleviate symptoms of anger and promote more adaptive coping strategies.