Anger Management and Counselling in Maple Ridge, BC.

I believe anger management ultimately comes down to emotional regulation and finding an alternative way to still express yourself, but in a more safe and effective way. The goal is not to get rid of the emotion, but to work with it before it overcomes you. What is underneath the anger? What message are you trying to get across when you feel angry? How was anger expressed to you growing up? What emotions did you feel safe to express growing up? How did you learn to deal with your anger over the years? These are questions that I would explore and build skills from here to help you reach a better understanding of the processes behind the intense anger that you are feeling.

A response to life's events falls upon a continuum from neutral to highly-reactive. At times anger, Gandhi called it "Righteous Indignation," is necessary to respond to injustices or inappropriate behaviours. However, uncontrolled, inappropriate anger is destructive to one's self and others. Mindfulness and Metta (Loving Kindness) meditations are excellent tools to deal with anger. Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) also called Tapping, along with skillful use of affirmations can help to cool the fires of anger. The benefits of anger management lead to a regulating of emotions and thus a gaining of peace of mind, positive relationships, career and family security.

Anger can often feel so overwhelming that it causes you to do things you later regret. Not knowing what came over you, there are many unanswered questions: why do I keep doing this? why can't I stop myself? Sometimes, alcohol, substances, or other addictive behaviours lead to this anger, making it more difficult to control. As an addiction counsellor, I help clients overcome addictions leading to anger issues so they can regain a sense of control, rebuild relationships, and gain clarity about how to move forward. If you are unsure where to start, send me a message and I can help. If I'm not the right fit, I can connect you to the right support so you can start gaining back control, today.

Anger is often a reaction to something deeper. It can be experienced as a quick event, from nothing to an explosion, but there is something valuable to understand between these two extremes. In working with anger, I focus on this in between by helping to connect the mind to the body’s experience and what we may notice is going on before anger arises. By building an awareness of what is going on, we can build better ways to understand the reasons behind the response and to intervene in more helpful ways.

Do you ever feel so mad that you want to scream or explode? Typically, underneath the emotion of anger is hurt. If we can access the hurt and pain beneath anger, oftentimes, we can uncover what threat anger is trying to protect us from. However, I would like to acknowledge that gender plays a big part in the ability to express anger, as does current circumstances (stress, powerlessness), past history (trauma, abuse), and ineffective learned behaviours. What is key here is that anger is a core emotion, it is healthy to feel and to get to know it. It's just a matter of how you express it towards yourself and others when problems start to arise.

Have you found that anger has started to ruin relationships, interfere with your job, and negatively impact your life? Anger has a way of spreading and infecting day-to-day interactions. If this sounds familiar, you're not alone. I work with many people who are controlled by their anger. Typically, anger is influenced by other underlying causes. In counselling, we will work together to learn new coping mechanisms to limit anger while also looking at what is causing anger. If you want to take the next step, reach out to me, and we can begin to change how you react to anger.

Anger can be understood as a secondary emotion. This means that oftentimes, there is another emotion, such as sadness or fear underlying our anger. Anger can feel strong and uncomfortable for many and my hope is that through our work together, clients can learn to regulate their anger so it doesn't feel as consuming in their life. I believe that whatever is under our anger is still important to express and by learning regulation, we can achieve this and ultimately be responsive rather than reactive. We will do this by identifying triggers and building coping strategies as well as connecting with underlying emotions that can bring further awareness and healing.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of anger management in a very humane yet fresh perspective. You see, anger is a normal emotion but it is the valence (intensity) as well as the coupling choice of what one does with this that is the problem. Telling someone to "not" do it or modifying behavior with a trite psychological plan that only breeds a compliant response is not the way to change anger. Brainwave optimization is a new cutting edge technology that allows one to rewire circuitry responsible for reactivity driving the anger. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

I offer counselling for anger management to help clients manage difficult situations. The treatment process is rooted in CBT with a focus on identifying triggers and recognizing body sensations that indicate emotional dysregulation. Developing coping skills and strategies to manage anger and associated emotions can improve conflict resolution, communication, and problem solving abilities while showing individuals how to express emotions such as anger in a healthy way.

My approach is to use a step-by-step process that follows an evidence based approach: goal setting; self awareness; cognitive reframing; behavioural modification; review of progress. Fundamental to the work is a good therapeutic relationship. That is, we have the collaboration and trust to combine your knowledge of yourself and your situation and my skills and knowledge of the clinical issues to make change happen.

Many people struggle with anger management. Anger management counselling can help you identify where these feelings are coming from and identify when they are about to happen in order for you to learn to control these strong feelings. Counselling is a great way to tackle these struggles as the therapy is tailored to you and your specific issues while in a confidential, supportive and non-judgemental environment.