Anger Management and Counselling in Langley, BC.

Do you ever feel so mad that you want to scream or explode? Typically, underneath the emotion of anger is hurt. If we can access the hurt and pain beneath anger, oftentimes, we can uncover what threat anger is trying to protect us from. However, I would like to acknowledge that gender plays a big part in the ability to express anger, as does current circumstances (stress, powerlessness), past history (trauma, abuse), and ineffective learned behaviours. What is key here is that anger is a core emotion, it is healthy to feel and to get to know it. It's just a matter of how you express it towards yourself and others when problems start to arise.

What has anger accomplished for you? Anger can be a devastating emotion, that if not managed can cause problems in your life. By working with me, we can work together to help manage and better understand why you get angry. I can help you understand that anger is not the first emotion that we feel, but it is usually the first emotion people see. I can help you better understand and communicate your underlying feelings that lead to anger. It is important what you do with anger that counts. It is important to understand that you can use your anger in a constructive and positive manner to help you get what you want in your life. Call now to see how I can help you create a more fulfilling life.

Anger can be understood as a secondary emotion. This means that oftentimes, there is another emotion, such as sadness or fear underlying our anger. Anger can feel strong and uncomfortable for many and my hope is that through our work together, clients can learn to regulate their anger so it doesn't feel as consuming in their life. I believe that whatever is under our anger is still important to express and by learning regulation, we can achieve this and ultimately be responsive rather than reactive. We will do this by identifying triggers and building coping strategies as well as connecting with underlying emotions that can bring further awareness and healing.

Anger can often feel so overwhelming that it causes you to do things you later regret. Not knowing what came over you, there are many unanswered questions: why do I keep doing this? why can't I stop myself? Sometimes, alcohol, substances, or other addictive behaviours lead to this anger, making it more difficult to control. As an addiction counsellor, I help clients overcome addictions leading to anger issues so they can regain a sense of control, rebuild relationships, and gain clarity about how to move forward. If you are unsure where to start, send me a message and I can help. If I'm not the right fit, I can connect you to the right support so you can start gaining back control, today.

It is my hope that clients will learn strategies to assist them in more effectively managing emotions of anger and the accompanying negative behaviours. Clients will explore and identify underlying causes of such emotions, as well as situational “triggers”. It is also my hope that clients will develop communication skills that will promote healthy interactions and successful resolutions of conflicts should they occur.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of anger management in a very humane yet fresh perspective. You see, anger is a normal emotion but it is the valence (intensity) as well as the coupling choice of what one does with this that is the problem. Telling someone to "not" do it or modifying behavior with a trite psychological plan that only breeds a compliant response is not the way to change anger. Brainwave optimization is a new cutting edge technology that allows one to rewire circuitry responsible for reactivity driving the anger. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

My approach is to use a step-by-step process that follows an evidence based approach: goal setting; self awareness; cognitive reframing; behavioural modification; review of progress. Fundamental to the work is a good therapeutic relationship. That is, we have the collaboration and trust to combine your knowledge of yourself and your situation and my skills and knowledge of the clinical issues to make change happen.

A response to life's events falls upon a continuum from neutral to highly-reactive. At times anger, Gandhi called it "Righteous Indignation," is necessary to respond to injustices or inappropriate behaviours. However, uncontrolled, inappropriate anger is destructive to one's self and others. Mindfulness and Metta (Loving Kindness) meditations are excellent tools to deal with anger. Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) also called Tapping, along with skillful use of affirmations can help to cool the fires of anger. The benefits of anger management lead to a regulating of emotions and thus a gaining of peace of mind, positive relationships, career and family security.

I believe anger management ultimately comes down to emotional regulation and finding an alternative way to still express yourself, but in a more safe and effective way. The goal is not to get rid of the emotion, but to work with it before it overcomes you. What is underneath the anger? What message are you trying to get across when you feel angry? How was anger expressed to you growing up? What emotions did you feel safe to express growing up? How did you learn to deal with your anger over the years? These are questions that I would explore and build skills from here to help you reach a better understanding of the processes behind the intense anger that you are feeling.

Angela understands that anger is a normal feeling and that everyone experiences anger from time to time; however, when anger begins to negatively affect our relationships, our self-esteem, our job/school performance or our role in community, it may suggest it's time to seek counselling support to gain new insight and skills to change unwanted patterns. Angela provides both individual and specialized women and men's group anger management sessions. She provides a safe, non-judgmental environment to increase skills related to self-awareness, communication, assertiveness, self-control, anxiety & stress management. Angela welcomes you to call today for your free consultation.

I will go over with clients situations that result in them being angry, triggers of their anger and what their thoughts are when they are angry. We will go over how we think affects how we feel and how we feel affects how we behave. We will go over ways to help clients regulate their emotions better when they are angry. Strategies can include ways to manage impulse control, breathing exercises, and relaxation exercises overall.

I have successfully helped many clients over the years with anger management. The reality is we all have anger that sometimes becomes just too much to contain! This obviously could quickly cause us serious ramifications! If you ever get to that point, anger management can be incredibly helpful in many ways. We all have anger but sometimes it increases in intensity which can result in very serious ramifications! Always remember it is very treatable.

Anger is a surface level emotion. There is nothing wrong with anger as it serves a useful purpose alerting us to how passionately we feel about a given circumstance. It is when we lose control of ourselves and react instead of creating a purposeful action to that event. Looking to our deeper beliefs, emotions, and values is key to understanding our anger and being able to use it in a constructive way. Your emotions are real and legitimate; don’t let anyone take them away from you. However, you have the responsibility to communicate them constructively and use them in ways that enrich your life. By learning how to use your anger as an alarm that tells you to communicate your thoughts, values ....

Our anger can be a sentry, a protector and a wise indicator that our boundaries have been transgressed or that something vitally important to us is threatened. It can also be a raging tyrant, a short fuse, a simmering internalisation that off-gases through passive aggression, or a childish tantrum. Becoming intimate with our anger is synonymous with becoming intimidate with our power. In anger therapy, we will work to understand the unique way your anger process happens through somatic awareness, mindfulness and emotional intimacy. We will look at your history with anger, your family lineage, and you will learn tools to channel this fire in ways that support rather than hinder your life.