Anger Management and Counselling in Kelowna, BC.

Anger is just the tip of the ice-berg--the part that we see. Below the surface can be a number of things, such as guilt, frustration, overwhelm, insecurity, hunger or lack of sleep, sadness and others. Together we can explore what lies beneath the anger and focus on tools and strategies to deal with it. You can control your anger so it no longer controls you.

Anger is one of the most valuable emotions that we have but it is also the most misunderstood. There is sometimes a false sense of power generated with anger, however speaking or acting from a place of anger will often almost guarantee our needs with respect to anger will not be met.. Often in an attempt to "manage' anger we are actually either trying to suppress it or to vent it. Either of these options are usually counter productive. Instead if we see anger as a warning light on the 'dashboard', alerting us to deeper emotions at the root of anger we can transform it and use it in a productive and helpful way.

Anger is a healthy and natural emotion. There is a time and place for anger (victimization); however, when we use anger to try to control our environment, it causes us problems in our personal and professional lives. Anger will control the way you think and distorted thinking affects behaviour in negative ways. Our counsellors will help you learn what is in your control to change and help you let go of the rest. For many, the anger response is as natural as needing to scratch when we have an itch. Clients will learn the skills and tools necessary to clean up their distorted thinking and beliefs and learn to improve their overall happiness.

I address clients with anger management concerns by exposing them to made up scenarios that could incite anger and giving them chances to practice self-monitoring their anger and coping mechanisms. In addition, I employ cognitive behavioural therapy to teach people how to recognize their own harmful thought patterns and challenge the veracity of their beliefs. If they are not entirely accurate, they can be swapped out with more sensible ideas that will lessen their feelings of rage.

In anger management counselling, we work together to understand the underlying triggers and patterns of anger in a supportive and nonjudgmental environment. My approach combines Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and mindfulness techniques to help you identify and challenge unhelpful thought patterns and develop healthier responses to anger. We’ll focus on building practical skills for emotional regulation, effective communication, and stress management. Addressing these areas allows you to control your emotions, improve relationships, and create a more balanced and peaceful life.

Anger management counseling can help to identify stressors and learn the steps to stay calm in the face of anger. The goal is to handle tense situations in more constructive and positive ways by reducing the emotional and physical arousal that anger can cause. It will provide the tools to take back your life and resolve the triggers that result in unplanned anger reactions.

My approach is to use a step-by-step process that follows an evidence based approach: goal setting; self awareness; cognitive reframing; behavioural modification; review of progress. Fundamental to the work is a good therapeutic relationship. That is, we have the collaboration and trust to combine your knowledge of yourself and your situation and my skills and knowledge of the clinical issues to make change happen.

A response to life's events falls upon a continuum from neutral to highly-reactive. At times anger, Gandhi called it "Righteous Indignation," is necessary to respond to injustices or inappropriate behaviours. However, uncontrolled, inappropriate anger is destructive to one's self and others. Mindfulness and Metta (Loving Kindness) meditations are excellent tools to deal with anger. Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) also called Tapping, along with skillful use of affirmations can help to cool the fires of anger. The benefits of anger management lead to a regulating of emotions and thus a gaining of peace of mind, positive relationships, career and family security.

Acquiring support for Anger Management helps you move through life's challenges and also helps create better relationships in your life. Together we dig a little deeper to find out what's the root cause of your anger and then apply a variety of tools to your toolbox to cope day by day. A straight forward approach is what I strive for. No sugar coating.

I offer Cognitive Behavioral Therapy that examine the relationship between triggers, thoughts/beliefs, and emotional reactions such as angry outbursts. You will explore concepts associated with how thoughts have been negatively impacted by past experiences, as well as how specific triggers and thoughts contribute to emotional dysregulation. You also will identify strategies in sessions to apply to real life situations. You will learn why anger was once adaptive to keep you safe when younger but is now maladaptive. Developing a better understanding of anger will make it easier to develop strategies helpful in managing your emotional reactions and using alternate behaviors to cope/stay safe.

I believe that anger, as an emotion, is often misunderstood; and because of this, feared. Pushed to our limits, we might say or do things that hurt others or the ones we love, adding shame and loss right into the mix. Because of this, we might work hard to avoid it, push it away, or appease it - feeding into a cycle, keeping us stuck. I help clients to make sense of their experience, in a new, non-judgemental way in order to regain a sense of control, de-escalate and self-regulate, and to use anger effectively, as it was intended.

Sometimes our emotions seem uncontrollable. Even though you do not mean to, anger outbursts or physical violence can leave those we love the most hurt and scarred. Anger management is about learning about emotions. By understanding the root of our anger, and specifically what "triggers" you have, you can come up with a unique plan. By stopping the anger cycle before you explode, or finding better ways to cool off, you can live better with others.

Anger management counseling can help to identify stressors and learn the steps to stay calm in the face of anger. The goal is to handle tense situations in more constructive and positive ways by reducing the emotional and physical arousal that anger can cause. It will provide the tools to take back your life and resolve the triggers that result in unplanned anger reactions.