Anger Management and Counselling in Bowen Island, BC.

We feel anger because we feel that something is not fair, something is not working out the way we thought it should, our boundaries have been crossed, or we feel we have been treated badly, or missed out. Anger can be frustrating if you don't know how to address the underlying issue. I specialize in helping those whose anger is related to social anxiety, isolation, bullying, harassment or lack of important social skills.

Anger can take control of your life, and your reactions to anger can jeopardise your personal and professional life. I work with males and females clients that are mandated by the court to take Anger Management Therapy, The treatment plan allows you to identify the triggers, recognise what behavioural patterns needs altering and how to transform unhealthy anger and healthy anger.

I offer counselling for anger management to help clients manage difficult situations. The treatment process is rooted in CBT with a focus on identifying triggers and recognizing body sensations that indicate emotional dysregulation. Developing coping skills and strategies to manage anger and associated emotions can improve conflict resolution, communication, and problem solving abilities while showing individuals how to express emotions such as anger in a healthy way.

Anger is often an expression of unhealed loss and pain. I will guide you to finding healthy ways of expressing anger and explore with you the underlying issues which may be fuelling the anger. Often we respond in the way we observed others express anger and other emotions. The important thing to know is that there are other options to use in expressing anger and we will find those ways together.

Does your anger feel explosive or unmanageable? Are you troubled or overwhelmed by another negative emotion like guilt, shame, fear, or jealousy? Generally speaking, our emotions are healthy and normal, but the way we react to them can cause real problems our lives and relationships. I can share skills to help you understand your emotions, what’s causing them, and how to react to them in a helpful way. When we can work with our emotions, rather than fight against them, we are healthier and happier.

I use cognitive therapy to help people overcome their anger issues. Thoughts create feelings which create behavior. If a person feels angry while driving in the car and cannot control his temper vis a vis the driver he is angry at, identifying the irrational thought at the root of it is often helpful. Usually I find the clients having such thoughts as, "He cut me off on purpose" or "Who does he think he is driving like that?" These types of thoughts can and do create anger. But if the client changes his thoughts for more rational ones such as, "Wow he must really be in a rush to be driving that way, perhaps there is an emergency", the client finds that he is less angry and less reactive!

I believe anger management ultimately comes down to emotional regulation and finding an alternative way to still express yourself, but in a more safe and effective way. The goal is not to get rid of the emotion, but to work with it before it overcomes you. What is underneath the anger? What message are you trying to get across when you feel angry? How was anger expressed to you growing up? What emotions did you feel safe to express growing up? How did you learn to deal with your anger over the years? These are questions that I would explore and build skills from here to help you reach a better understanding of the processes behind the intense anger that you are feeling.

Anger has costs psychologically, physiologically and in personal relationships. There are times when no amount of awareness or will, can calm ones Central Nervous System (CNS). When you find yourself reactive to a trigger, and the limbic system of your brain is fired up making anger seem to come out of nowhere, it is difficult to use reason. By utilizing tools of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Neurofeedback(NFB) or EMDR, I can assist your body and brain to learn to calm the CNS, allowing you to think first, act second.

Has losing your temper hurt your relationships with family, friends, and colleagues? Is anger your go-to state when you are overwhelmed, exhausted, and feel misunderstood? Do you often think: it shouldn’t be this hard to be patient and calm, even when you’re frustrated? Anger can bring out the worst in us. It often leads us to make decisions that we regret later causing pain to the people we love and care about the most. ANGER MANAGEMENT THERAPY CAN HELP YOU RECOGNIZE THE EARLY SIGNS OF ANGER SO YOU CAN STOP IT FROM ESCALATING

What Clients are saying: "You were able to put my mind at ease even though I was very nervous about the first session. I didnt feel judged and was able to learn how to express my feelings better so that I wouldnt get mad as easy. I didnt realize that I had so many expectations on myself and was setting myself to get mad at everyone else. Thanks for teaching me about boundaries and how to love myself and other people with limits. Im not as stressed out and dont get mad like I used to."

Anger is a normal healthy human emotion. When people allow it to get out of control it can turn destructive, it can lead to problems at work, personal relationships, and the overall quality of life. I like to think of anger using the metaphore of a hammer. You can do a lot of things with a hammer. You can build things and you can tear things apart. The hammer is just a tool just like anger can be a tool. Anger isn't the problem, it's what you do with it. I help people learn the skills they need to use their anger and the underlying hurt and feelings of injustice to make positive choices that lead to positive relationships and experiences.

Like all other emotions , anger is a messenger about the unmet needs. Unlike the common belief about anger ; experiencing healthy anger can assist us have a healthier life . In therapy , I will help you transform the unhelpful anger to helpful one . As a result you will experience assertiveness and skills on setting boundaries instead of burst outs .

In my approach to Counselling for Anger and Anger Management, I help clients gain insight into the root causes of their anger and equipping them with effective strategies to manage it constructively. I believe that anger is a natural emotion, but it becomes problematic when it is expressed in harmful ways. Through our therapeutic work, clients will learn to identify triggers, understand the underlying emotions driving their anger, and acquire practical techniques for healthy expression and control. By fostering self-awareness and providing tools for emotional regulation, clients can expect to experience improved relationships, reduced conflict, and an overall enhanced quality of life.

At the core of managing anger is insight into your own way of thinking and feeling. I can help you to gain this insight and become free of the burden of anger. You will be able to manage and control your reactions and improve your relationships and sense of self. My anger management approach is effective and focused. I will help you sort through the situations that trigger anger responses and help you gain mastery over them. You will ultimately be able to push beyond simply manging your anger to becoming truly free from its hold on you. Contact me to start making changes today.

Real Solutions to Real Challenges. Common Sense Techniques. Anger can be helpful or it can be destructive. Anger unchecked and not understood can consume a persons attention and energy and keep them stuck. Anger can be hepful in that it is telling us that something is wrong. We may feel unfairly treated, overpowered, and hurt. As a result individuals may become defensive, withdrwan/silent, or even aggresive if they sense injustice and then go the attack. Quite often if the intensity of the anger response seems out of proportion to the current incident then this is most likely due to a cumulative history that comes rushing in to the present and hence the over reaction.

Anger can be misunderstood and therefore experienced as one of the scariest emotions to work with or experience. In our work together we will learn what is underneath your anger, and the function of these emotions in order to support you in learning to unlock more supportive ways of experiencing your emotions and heal from past hurts and therefore heal your relationships.

Do you find yourself yelling at your partner, losing your temper at your children, storming out of the office in a fury of frustration and anger? Anger is a normal, healthy emotion that sometimes gets away on a person. Feeling disappointed in yourself when you 'lose your cool' is information that there may be better ways to handle a situation. Together we will work to help you develop the skills to communicate effectively, maintain your authenticity and foster strong, positive relationships.

Collaboratively, we will explore the underlying causes of anger and identify triggers within relationships (with self and other). An emphasis on relational strategies can promote effective expression and constructive conflict resolution. We will work on developing emotional intelligence, helping you recognize and understand what is beneath the surface of your anger. It can be useful to explore past experiences that might be contributing to present challenges. Treatment focusses on building healthy connections and increasing self-awareness.

One of the greatest detriments of anger is that it makes us feel helpless and out of control. Anger management techniques aren't meant to eliminate your anger. Anger management techniques put you in charge of the situation and teach you how to make your anger work for you. Resolve conflict creatively, calm yourself before you hit the red zone, recognize the early warning signs of anger…so that you’ll stay in control of your emotions, offer and respond to criticism with confidence and react to a crisis calmly and confidently...so that you will be powerful instead of overpowering.

Anger can arise from a number of events in one's life. For some it is comes about from frustration and a lack of coping strategies, for others it is the culmination of many (sometimes divergent and seemingly unrelated) events, or it may be in reaction to changing life circumstances (e.g. loss of employment). I work first to help my clients understand the source of their angry behaviours, feelings, and thoughts, and then work with them to develop more effective ways of expressing their needs and dealing with other potential triggers. Leaving them feel a greater sense of control and strength.

Anger is a healthy and normal emotion. It is only when it is acted out in inappropriate ways that it becomes unhealthy and socially "unacceptable". The key to getting a handle on anger is to learn mindful awareness of what you are actually experiencing in the moment - particularly what you are experiencing physically in your body. That moment to moment awareness shows you the truth of your experience and slows your reaction time, giving you a chance to take a breath, evaluate, and assess how you might want to RESPOND, rather than simply REACT, in a given situation. It is equally important to discover underlying anxiety or depression that might be contributing to unwanted anger.

Anger management counseling can help to identify stressors and learn the steps to stay calm in the face of anger. The goal is to handle tense situations in more constructive and positive ways by reducing the emotional and physical arousal that anger can cause. It will provide the tools to take back your life and resolve the triggers that result in unplanned anger reactions.

Where anger shows up in my work is often with children and youth who are expediting emotional outbursts. These emotional outbursts often present as anger and are happening as the children and youth are unable to process and articulate how they are feeling. During our sessions together I work with the children and youth to understand their primary emotion as anger is a secondary emotion. We work together to process how there are feeling and be able to articulate their feelings and use different coping techniques instead of aversive outbursts.

Learning to recognize your anger without acting impulsively is a challenge I can help you with. My approach to anger includes: • Learning to recognize and fully understand your anger triggers • Working with self-esteem—often feelings of shame or self-doubt exacerbate anger problems • Finding ways to express the energy of anger in healthy ways, like assertion rather than aggression, setting boundaries with kind firmness, breath, movement and energetic release • Practices tailored to you, for between sessions to integrate the new healthy ways you are finding in our sessions together

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of anger management in a very humane yet fresh perspective. You see, anger is a normal emotion but it is the valence (intensity) as well as the coupling choice of what one does with this that is the problem. Telling someone to "not" do it or modifying behavior with a trite psychological plan that only breeds a compliant response is not the way to change anger. Brainwave optimization is a new cutting edge technology that allows one to rewire circuitry responsible for reactivity driving the anger. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.